The King @_TheKing_1_
Joined October 2013-
Tweets56
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Followers126
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Following536
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Likes31
Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
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Morning peasants....I would love to have some breakfast...if I only I could reach the fridge, I hate being this small
Anyone who says their wedding was the best day of their life has never had 2 candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The reception was brilliant.
Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
Screw the alarm system. I've seen 'Home Alone'I know what to do.
My Politicians and nappies have one thing in common; they should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
It's getting late and the kids are still hunting for eggs... Hmm, I guess I should've actually hidden some.
I switched my wifes tampons with party poppers, that girl has absolutely no sense of humor I swear.
Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously a girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
My queens says I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don't be mad, I'll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
My neighbour knocked on my castle door at 2:30 this morning,2:30!would've been annoyed but lucky for him I was still up playing my bagpipes.
I threw a boomerang off my castle like six years ago and it never came back. Now I live in constant fear.
BREAKING NEWS: Dora the Explorer suffers a heart attack after discovering Google Maps.
That one annoying relative who comments on everything you do on facebook.
Playing a game of real life chess...my knights, horses, and my queen will all feel the force of my polished sword later ;)
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