paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

parody Joined June 2017

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

2 years ago

Liverpool have agreed personal terms with Moises Caicedo in £110m record deal @TimesSport

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

2 years ago

John Henry has been airlifted to a nearby medical facility after Mike Gordon informed him of Moises Caicedo's £100m price tag.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

3 years ago

Liverpool have late offer for Moises Caicedo accepted by Brighton. Player on his way to complete medical.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

3 years ago

Jurgen Klopp has made clear this evening that Liverpool are finished in this summer's transfer market with Jay Spearing set to be handed a first team role.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

3 years ago

Liverpool announce they have retired the toilet stall Takumi Minamino ate his lunch in following his move to Monaco.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

3 years ago

Naby Keita's UCL final strike has just reentered Earth's atmosphere and is heading straight for Goodison Park.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

3 years ago

John Henry was discharged from hospital earlier today and is now on his way to Portugal to deal with Julian Ward personally. It's a race against time to stop the £85m transfer.

paul joyce @_pauljoyce

3 years ago

John Henry was discharged from hospital earlier today and is now on his way to Portugal to deal with Julian Ward personally. It's a race against time to stop the £85m transfer.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

3 years ago

Liverpool pull out of Darwin Nunez deal. Could not match Benfica valuation, Man Utd now favourites to sign Uruguayan. thetimes.co.uk/article/491949…

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

3 years ago

Man Utd to sign Darwin Nunez in last minute deal which will see him become Premier League's top earner @TimesSport

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

3 years ago

Tom Werner met with John Henry earlier today to inform him of Darwin Nunez transfer. Henry now in critical condition in Massachusetts General Hospital after hearing the £80m fee.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

5 years ago

Liverpool have agreed a fee with Marseille for the signing of Duje Caleta-Car. Medical expected tomorrow morning.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

7 years ago

Mohammed Salah pulls out of LFC warm up with knee injury after clash with Naby Keita.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

7 years ago

Liverpool beaten in race to sign Alisson Becker by Chelsea @TimesSport

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

7 years ago

Xherdan Shaqiri’s move to LFC broke down today following his request to have cheese burgers and pizzas added to the lunch menu at Melwood. Everton, Southampton & West Ham all maintain interest.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

8 years ago

Virgil van Dijk leaves Melwood on crutches

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Mohamed Salah was on the receiving end of a horror tackle in Jurgen Klopp’s morning session today and has been admitted to hospital for what is feared to be a ligament tear. No comment from Jurgen Klopp.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

8 years ago

I’ve just spoken to Virgil van Dijk and he’s confirmed his injury is just his way of forcing a move to Real Madrid.

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

8 years ago

A massive yacht with reference code “FSG123” has just been spotted cruising down the River Mersey. Worth in the region of £142m

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paul joyce @_pauIjoyce

8 years ago

LFC confirm that over 25 ball boys scattered in areas outside the stadium have lost their jobs following the departure of Philippe Coutinho. LFC feel the ball boys unnecessary now that no one will be blasting the ball out of the stadium on a regular basis.