Sandy Goddardа @_sandy_go

Morning classes: Have to wake up super early or choose to fight the jam Afternoon classes: Can wake up late but park bloody far lah.

I wanna meet that dad! i.imgur.com/72zp5Ob.jpg

Gus: "if you were The Flash, you could do hand in armpit farts really fast!" I'm willing to bet these words have never been spoken before.

Here's a suggestion for restaurant owners getting hit by 'Fast Food Strikes': hold a job fair & hand out applications next to picket line.

If i see another person call harry "hazza" or "harold" i will have to move my hand accross their face at a very fast speed leaving pain.

How dope would it be to get a hand job from a chick with Parkinsons? She'd jack you off so fast you'd come before your pant hit the ground.

I only painted my nails on one hand because im lazy and I stopped caring like 6 billion years ago so yea.

I'm the type to complain how lazy and fat I'm getting... While laying on the couch... with my hand inside the doritos bag.

The plan is for Afellay and Cuenca, who have been registered as first team players, to leave during the January transfer window. [rac1].

idk my first semester really makes me want to throw myself through a window.

I watched the first 4 seconds of the insidious trailer, heard the lady singing "tip toe by the window" or some nonsense, & Im done. So done.

I romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast out song. A 30 second ad plays first.

the first time connie and sasha graffiti the police station sasha writes "poo" on it in big letters and connie doesn't know what to say.

Angel di Maria? He is a delight. Is the writing on the wall for Podolski? I don't know. Is he graffiti? No.

yeah why don't we just like i don't know graffiti buildings in the name of sherlock.

A fun thing to do at tollbooths is lean toward the attendant and whisper "Madness has already taken it's toll" as you hand them a human eye.

being single is fun and unstressful at times but on the other hand having somebody thats loyal and hold you down is a blessing.

Running naked down the stairs with bewbs kind of in one hand and a clothes basket in the other. I bet I'd be so fun to live with.

I want to go on a date but just a casual fun and cute date with no commitment. So basically just hangout with me and hold my hand.

me and tasha have a weird friendship. I break her arm, she breaks my hand. I have surgery, she comes and makes fun of me when I'm messed up.