Lauren Wild @_wild_25
hydrate or diedrate Joined May 2017-
Tweets1K
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Followers72
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Following119
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Likes3K
thinking about the time i took a surf trip and was the last one awake, inhaled cobbler for breakfast, was the first one to put my suit and get in, and everyone was confused where i came from
update: his new name is cheddar bob
guns has been deemed the baby bell bandit and no i will not be elaborating any further
guys at work found out i was absolutely dying on my period and they OFFERED to GO OUT and BUY ME A HEATING PAD
also told him 2 months before I left that I had was waiting on 1 thing before a project could be finished (that needed to get done way above my level which is why i told him so early) and naturally the day i left it still wasnt done so i said "no this isnt my problem anymore"
thinking about that time my boss asked me to get something done and i suggested a different way to do it and he goes "yeah that makes sense...much more efficient. But no dont do it that way"
listen i will call all my guy friends "girl" and all my girl friends "bro" or "dude" and there's nothing you can do to stop me
forget spotify wrapped. I need a surf wrapped for each sesh. You paddled for 29 waves this sesh! You caught 2 waves. You wiped out 36 times.
listen i just want a guy who will wear matching christmas pjs with me as we watch lord of the rings, is that too much to ask??
@Immasealion alc will kill all the germs so better make sure you get them all 😈
also sophie if u see this, those bob ross socks u sent me in college, I still wear them every week when i workout
theres just something girly-pop about being in the weight room with all guys and pulling out pink burts bees inbetween sets ya know
update: two of our engineers said they would bring girl energy by answering "hayyy girl" everytime i talk to them
ok listen i love my job but im the only woman on the boat and sometimes theres just so much ✨unhinged man energy✨ ya know
told bm3 that i didnt want to get my flu shot because i dont like needles and the gave my tats the HARDEST side eye
new favorite airport game is spot who is fresh from boot/first unit, who is midway though their military career, and who is the grizzled vet tired of traveling
people who wear flip flops to the airport and then go barefoot through security absolutely terrify me
i felt like i needed a good cry so i had a couple glasses of wine and watched the extended version of "return of the king" and lemme tell you that really did it
recent things ive been honked at for: -not going at a red light -not turning left in front of thre SEMI who was going straight -slightly slowing down so i could give a cyclist more space -yielding to a pedestrian in the crosswalk (it was a cop who honked at me)
guns has been deemed the baby bell bandit and no i will not be elaborating any further
i havent had sand in my bed since i moved from Monterey bc sitka is all rocks and i forgot how uncomfy it is
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