Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

Country mouse. If it’s a warm summer’s evening, you might find me on a train bound for nowhere. Retweets ARE endorsements if they are funny Joined August 2010

Tweets

19K
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8K
Following

552
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6K

Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

3 weeks ago

Best breakup song ever is I Can Still Make Cheyenne. Sad as hell, but all parties win.

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

2 months ago

The clock is counting up…and up…and up. Who needs that kinda pressure?

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

3 months ago

I call the big one “Jemima”

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

3 months ago

I was going to post a picture of an ant farm and say “I call the big one ‘Jemima’” and my son said “For the love of god, don’t do that.” Should I do that?

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

4 months ago

I don't watch a lot of tennis, but I never organically say "brilliant!" more often than when I do. Soccer second place for that.

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

4 months ago

Me, as an O’s fan, the past eight weeks: “Ugh. Gonna be a long season.” Me, today: “Hey, it’s a long season, baby!”

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

5 months ago

If you’re not listening to this on your Sony Walkman on the bus en route to your high school football away game in 1994, you might not be honorable mention all-district material

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

6 months ago

I’m calling BS on Biz Markie having friends named Agnes and Agatha

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

6 months ago

My homemade opening day sausage feast ain’t ever been better. Reps, baby. Reps. Age-48 SZN. Go Os.

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

7 months ago

Also scheduled to pitch today: Hondo Piston, Bull Bald and Hippo King

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

7 months ago

Points for honesty!

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

8 months ago

Pearly Gates bouncer: “Would you say you were an honest man?” Me (using my Frank Beamer voice): “Abbbsolutely” PGB: “hmm…our records show you got a little loose with the ‘I am not driving’ button” Me: “I’ll show my way to hell.”

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

8 months ago

I want to enter a rodeo someday just so I can say, "This IS my first rodeo."

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

9 months ago

Gonna have my 16-YO daughter make me a "Wingstop commercial" mix because that's the only modern rap that remotely sounds like the rap I used to love. Lotta bass, no mumbling, etc. I will request that she makes it on CD. She will decline. Boomer life.

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

11 months ago

“I see a white squiggle.” — my wife

Joe Pompliano @JoePompliano

11 months ago

“I see a white squiggle.” — my wife

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

12 months ago

Sometimes Twitter makes it so you don’t even have to type it in the box #Hokies

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

a year ago

“I would like to not be curb-stomped tonight. Therefore, the call on the field is overturned.”

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

a year ago

I’d enjoy it too if I were in an air-conditioned Beamer Barn and smacking an inflatable Dee Reynolds…whatever happened to 100-degree 2-a-days where we injure each other?????

Andy Bitter @AndyBitterVT

a year ago

I’d enjoy it too if I were in an air-conditioned Beamer Barn and smacking an inflatable Dee Reynolds…whatever happened to 100-degree 2-a-days where we injure each other?????

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Aaron McFarling @aaronmcfarling

2 years ago

(2063) “What was 2023 like, grandpa?” “Quite a time, boy. Quite a time. Every other TV commercial — regardless of product or service — featured a fake halftime locker room speech.” “Wowwww!”