@alyssakeiko “LeBron James did not win his first NBA championship until he was 27, you can still do it”

@NikolaiDenmark God, I forgot about them, though they did garner a passing mention in my opening day post a couple years ago: actioncookbook.substack.com/p/and-were-und…

@ThiccStauskas It’s like when a kid falls into the gorilla enclosure at the zoo. Maybe you don’t *need* to shoot the gorilla, but when else are you going to get to shoot a gorilla?

@Pete506 Okay now that you mention it, my proposal also involved security—I proposed in an empty Bryant Park in NYC late at night. It was empty because it was close, and the guard let me finish before telling us to leave.

honestly all public proposals should end this way twitter.com/hearinladotcom…

storytime last year I was chilling Yankees press room, writing my lil stories, when one of my Japanese colleagues asked me to help translate something. bet. everything seems fine, but then he's like... "what is 'Tungsten Arm O'Doyle'?" I had to hold back my screams twitter.com/SlangsOnSports…

@actioncookbook is 100% right; you should both watch Everybody Wants Some! This weekend and subscribe to his newsletter.

New Action Cookbook Newsletter! Baseball started yesterday, but the ACBN is in mid-season form, with a diamond-inspired offering today that includes: - my own gonzo ballpark food! - a bleacher-worthy beverage! - baseball books, music and movies! - more! actioncookbook.substack.com/p/i-dont-care-…

@JustinScaife right, but they’re angry about something that—if true—would be good news for them. Their anger betrays the fact that it’s not true.

it is very funny that a whole class of Republican operatives who would benefit greatly from another Trump presidency are visibly angry while trying to convince us this somehow helps him

@AUSquid that really was our Opening Ceremonies, I loved it

@aklingus a full year of Serious People telling us he’s the perfect candidate when it was obvious all along he had zero sauce

it honestly feels great to be in the Companies Cater To My Nostalgia Now age range, I get why boomers liked it so much

as a lawyer*, my official analysis of this is: lol. Lmao. *I am not a lawyer twitter.com/jonesieman/sta…

@hammel11 I believe that’s technically “two fists”

@HomefieldApparl @rodger The smarter move is to claim 2020 and just hope people forget, like “oh did the NCAA do a bubble thing too? huh I was busy baking bread but good for them”

@crawf34 @KayTeeeOh this is why they have never won a World Series and never will. Specifically this and only this.

Did Limp Bizkit Predict the Future? Because Everything Is Fucked and Everybody Sucks l8r.it/OmyW

this calendar continues to be my most satisfying acquisition of 2023

they’re gonna cut into final four games when he bats this weekend twitter.com/95Sports/statu…

@georgiaisaverb I did and don’t call me ma’am

@TheBillKenney If I’m not the #1 fan of each individually then I’m *definitely* the #1 fan of the combination of the two

what two albums do you think you're the #1 fan of on twitter twitter.com/502eire/status…

@08mms They nailed it. I love the Diamond C cap logo, too.

@bennomartens @crowcialist [pounding clipboard] Guardians. Guardians! GUARDIANS!

good morning, Opening Day games usually have low scores because there's bunting everywhere

it’s opening day [checks watch] in 14 hours

Today

@MattBrownEP new vertical: extra points blue