parasocial king @adam_online_

Intelligentsia poster boy Joined May 2011

Tweets

2K
Followers

179
Following

328
Likes

18K

parasocial king @adam_online_

6 days ago

waddling down the aisle in my 40 oz denim tuexedo at my wedding. they're playing the national anthem instead of 'here comes the bride'

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parasocial king @adam_online_

2 weeks ago

looking forward to the rxk song about this

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parasocial king @adam_online_

a month ago

i fucked up. should have ewaited one more year and made dozens of dollars via youtube video: 30 yr old listents to "kid a" and "ok computer" for frist time

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parasocial king @adam_online_

2 months ago

they're making me defeat 12 waves of enemies at work tomorrow

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parasocial king @adam_online_

2 months ago

i'm fuckin w the apple watch on and it's showing me all gold splits #pb #agdq #speedrun

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parasocial king @adam_online_

2 months ago

telling my coworker i think we'd work better as just friends

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parasocial king @adam_online_

2 months ago

i wana put marbles down the garbage disposal

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parasocial king @adam_online_

3 months ago

bruce springsteen 🫡

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parasocial king @adam_online_

3 months ago

you don't need a dresser. pile at foot of bed works fine 👍

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parasocial king @adam_online_

3 months ago

showing a girl imagine dragons >>>>

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parasocial king @adam_online_

4 months ago

*at climbing gym* nice send bro. that kneebar was sick lol. has anyone ever told you you have a mewtwo build

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parasocial king @adam_online_

5 months ago

''dudes need therapy" dudes need kovaaks my hela is fucking bottom fragging

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parasocial king @adam_online_

5 months ago

other motorists & cops bout to be a lot more respectful towards me

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parasocial king @adam_online_

5 months ago

shorty can i sneeze on it

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Still Gone @meatsauce200

5 months ago

They should make a game called unc or opp where you rank old people based on how much you trust them

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Still Gone @meatsauce200

6 months ago

Me after listening to squidwards gf vent to me: if you’re gonna date squidward you need to understand that the way he cares for you isn’t gonna look like anybody else’s

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parasocial king @adam_online_

6 months ago

back in the day people would always be asking alexandria but nowadays people olny know about asking alexa 🙄

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jasmine @coolbeens

6 months ago

she said my xiao long when i hit her from the bao

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most people don't realize this but using twitter on ur desktop or laptop inflicts less psychic damage than using it on your phone bc of the screen's larger surface area. like how getting stepped on by combat boots hurts less than high heels