Britney Carte @addtocarte

love these guys. <3 #karaoke #wednesdaynight #feelthelove @ outback saloon

How did the fat guy survive the plane crash? He didn�t. He died like evryone else.

Why are top-brand clothes, shoes & accessories so expensive? You're not looking at Karmaloop/Plndr. Repcode STAPLER gives 20% off both sites

How do you get a clown off of a swing? Ask him politely to get off.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

How did the dog get food & groceries delivered free to her door in under an hour? He downloaded the Postmates app and used promo code: 8TXX

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Anything you like, he can�t hear you. � � Because he is extinct.

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the fence open, so it wandered around and happened to cross a road.

How did Jenkins cross the Atlantic? In a transatlantic flight.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. Bars serve people of all religions.

What is invisible and smells like carrots? Invisible carrots.

Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn�t have any arms.

Why are top-brand clothes, shoes & accessories so expensive? You're not looking at Karmaloop/Plndr. Repcode STAPLER gives 20% off both sites

Why is there no Aspirin in the rain forest? It wouldn't be financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in the vastly unpopulated rain forest.

Ask me if I am an orange? Yep. Ask me if I am a mango. �Are you a mango?� No, I am an orange.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, it's really nice.