Laura Langenberg, Ed.S @alotusblooms

People may have hurt you, belittled you, and abandoned you in life. They may still be doing it. Despite this, I believe there are good people who you belong with. Good people who will not take advantage of you. Good people who care for you just as you are. You are worthy of love.

Neurodivergent people are always trying to adapt to fit into a neurotypical world, a world that will not adapt for them in return. They are tired of masking to be accepted by those who reject them anyway. Support is not often accessible until they reach crisis and burnout.

To continue in the face of adversity, shame, and ridicule, to refuse to stop when no one else is on your side. Keep showing up exactly as you are. You are doing much better than you give yourself credit for. You are a force to be reckoned with and the world needs your power.

Society is consistently traumatizing people w/ invisible disabilities. They are ostracized, bullied, and discriminated against w/out consequence. If you have a disability and are trying to heal from CPTSD, it may be harder for you bc the traumatic events have continued to accrue.

Sometimes you raise your standards and find you are alone. Resist the urge to lower your standards so you can fill the loneliness. You are truly better off in your own company than bad company.

Imagine how invalidating it is to a neurodivergent person to hear "Everyone is a little autistic" or "Everyone is a little ADHD." This discounts the immense struggle neurodivergent people face in a world that doesn't understand or accommodate them.

If you keep meeting people who end up mistreating you, chances are you ignored your instincts that told you something was off. They likely showed some red flags you excused away. It's time to reflect and focus on how you will trust your own initial judgments moving forward.

Trauma recovery involves letting go of the people in your life who demonstrate they cannot treat you the way you deserve. It's an ongoing process that starts once you are healed enough to see your own worth. You need to allow yourself to grieve your losses as they occur.

Unhealthy childhood attachment styles will likely play out in adult romantic relationships if they remain unaddressed. This makes you susceptible to domestic violence and abuse. Awareness and therapy can be key to breaking these cycles.

Repeated workplace pranks on the same individual who suffers as a result may seem like harmless antics, but it is actually a form of bullying and considered harassment towards members of a protected class. Having a laugh at the expense of others is not as fine as you think it is.

Emotional abuse such as gaslighting can come from different kinds of people you interact with, even those you might not suspect. It can also be very subtle. It is crucial you develop an understanding of healthy relationship dynamics and patterns of abuse to protect yourself.

You deserve recognition for all the effort you have put into your own recovery and breaking generational trauma cycles no one else could. By healing yourself you are healing those who will come after you. And you're inspiring those who heal beside you on their own journeys.

Trauma survivors are at risk of being revictimized, which can interfere with trauma recovery. Not only do we have to process the pain from the past, but sometimes there are new wounds we must address as well. This time we have knowledge, skills, and resources we didn't before.

Be aware that you may subconsciously be attracted to abusive people if you were mistreated in the past. The brain loves finding familiar people or things, even if they’re not good for us. Know the warning signs, however subtle, and when to walk away. This can save you from harm.

You deserve someone who is willing to hear your story when you're able to share it. Someone who listens with an empathetic ear, not someone who nods politely and looks the other way. Your story matters. So choose the one who knows it, the one who values you and your truth.

I am sorry if it took decades for you to become fully aware of the trauma that was inflicted upon you. Society tends to keep its eyes shut to abuse until we are able to see reality for what it is. You deserved a better beginning, but you can give yourself a better ending.

A person with a disability's acceptance in society should not be based on how "high functioning" they are or how much they can contribute to society without being an inconvenience to those around them. Their existence is enough.

Never underestimate the positive impact of a trauma survivor finding a person who can empathize with their past, support their present recovery, and encourage their future growth.

Finding your identity for the first time as a lifelong trauma survivor may lead you down paths you never imagined. There is grieving who we might've been, and sometimes in discovering who we really are.