alyssa @alyssavatter04
Joined April 2019-
Tweets498
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Followers17
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Following90
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Likes1K
You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
Get so sad when I finish my first coffee of the day. I will have a second one soon, but nothing beats your first. I had the whole day ahead of me when I was drinking that, the world was at my feet. Now im just some guy getting on with it.
Me watching Quiet On Set
Weather so nice i broke out my 13 piece patio set
Hey man do they have any sweet treats at the function or should we pre
There’s always a white guy at the bonfire who really fucks with keeping the fire going and I respect that
I pretend that I don't know the gossip, so that they can give me another version
it can be sooo healing to stay up til 3am . unfortunately it will also completely ruin your life
Touching a microfiber cloth with dry hands is one of the most disgusting sensory experiences I can think of
unfortunately i often find out without even getting to fuck around
Fitted sheet being taken out of the dryer like “I have a secret :)” and the secret is your wet laundry wound up in it
i think leap day should be a internationally observed holiday - you’re telling me we get an extra day every FOUR years and we have to work?? that doesn’t sit right w me
Buying frozen pizza is such a lie. “Oh I’ll save this for when I don’t feel like cooking”. Surprise, surprise. Day one. Don’t feel like cooking
The same state of Alabama which just executed Kenneth Smith via nitrogen gas asphyxiation would like you to know that frozen embryos are “children” because as per the Bible, human life cannot be destroyed without incurring the wrath of a Holy God.
grown ass man go hunt some mice nigga
raven baxter at 7am on a monday morning at school
let me eat something before I start drinking
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The NBA should have jeans night. I wanna see how good they play in jeans
you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
I'm walking on sunshine you stupid bitch
Sometimes I post 🔥under people’s photos. They think I’m saying it’s fire, but really I’m saying “burn this picture, ugly”.
I already know ima have them forehead wrinkles when I get older because I be PERPLEXED.
Me high af in the kitchen making a frozen pizza
{guy pitching Chuck E Cheese} okay so it’s a giant rat and the 8 year olds are gonna gamble
When you want to stay at the beach forever..🐕🐾🏖️😅
3D printed modular plants with a household function [📹 forgecoreco]
i'm actually a triple threat (anxious, depressed, burnt out)
Just cats that don't want to see the vet
Me when I accidentally type “I don’t give a duck”
oh no the coffee made me anxious
“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.
They fucked up when they let a white boy like me taste a cold beer for the first time
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