The Average Golfer @aussiegolfhack
Just your average golf hack with a passionate hate for old female golfers Joined April 2014-
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#golfhackrules number 54 Farting is permitted in an attempt to distract your playing partner mid swing.
I can only assume what it's like to play at Augusta, but I like to think it would be like my first root. Exciting and terribly hard.
I can confidently say that I will never do what Matt Jones did this morning. I only dream of back to back birdies.
Monday morning. The perfect time to re-live my 7 on the par 3 16th to yet again choke
I'm a certainty to bogey the 18th every fucking time I play.
I'll be honest. I don't actually look for my playing partners lost ball in thick rough. I contemplate how I can blow my 3 shot lead.
I get nervous when I rock up and see the ground staff on a greens mower. I fucking hate quick greens.
No you can't 'have a bash' with my new $300 Callaway driver. Can I take your first born daughter for a 'bash' #samesame
I love the 4 old cunts who refused to let me hit up and pass. Not.
You can be assured my chest will be puffed out when walking to the green to tap in for a birdie.
I only rake bunkers if I'm happy with the end result.
'One' must be chuckled out loud after your playing partner has a air swing on the tee.
3 practice swings is too 2 many practice swings. Just hurry up for fuck sake.
Spent $250 on a new putter. It doesn't matter because I choke on every green.
'Fuck, didn't quite get it' must be said after a massive drive down the guts. Even though you're rapt with the distance.
I only replace divots when there is ground staff watching me.
Just had a look at tee times for Saturday and I'm playing with a 73 year old Asian, the cunt that coaches everyone and a female. Fuck.
'Hey mate, there's a piece of shit on your club. Nah not on the club face, the other end!' #classicgolfsledge
I'm becoming a compulsive liar to my wife. I said I had played twice in 6 months. I've actually played 37 rounds in that time.
For years, I got my cocked sucked by the club pro saying I was gonna be the next big thing. I think he just wanted Dads money.
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