NursingHome Chaplain @bad_chaplain
I love and respect my residents...but then funny things happen that must be shared. at a nursing home near you Joined December 2013-
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Followers39
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Following144
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Likes11
If our residents 2014 Resolutions were to poop more on the floor than in the bathroom they are doing an amazing job! #NewYearResolutions
Helped patient get his colostomy bag back under his pants this afternoon. My week has no where to go but down!
A resident asked me to pray for her....so of course I did. At the end of it she said, "thanks, cause my body feels like S#@T today!" #prayer
There are 2 patients that play cards before lunch every day. Today one suggested that they play strip poker! Lunch is gonna be amazing!!!!!!
Had a patient tell me her nurse is trying to kill her! I went immediately and told that nurse not to kill anyone. Save me some paperwork!
One patient came in on a staff meeting this morning and called us all "Farts!" She was correct..at least about me.
Each morning the "I like to move it move it" song plays in our facility. In related news 75% of our residents are still in bed.
Spent the day wishing a happy 2014, 2012, 2008, 1997, 1993-5, 1983, 1970, and 1954 to my patients.
If you were wondering....YES the line between nursing home chaplain and houseboy is a very thin line.
Just had a patient stop me and cry out for a "left handed high five!!!!" Then she demanded a second one. I was more than happy to oblige.
ANNOUCEMENT: New Years Day party is now happening in the dining room....or as we like to call it free tomato juice and live gospel singing.
Ask a resident this morning what her #NewYearsResolution was. Her response, "to get drunk!"* * NOTE: there is no alcohol in the facility
Tuesday bingo is now happening in the recreation room. Or as I and Ed Norton call it...FIGHT CLUB!
A typical morning for me: 5% ministry 45% getting snacks/drinks for patients 45% cleaning up the drinks once they are spilled 5% tweeting
A pretty viable list for where I work...
Just had a 15 minute argument with a patient who said his pants were his jacket.
Just had a patient deny me a hug...unless I go get her some Krystal burgers. She said 5 Krystal's equal one hug. A pretty solid deal!
First meeting of the week and of the day and we are discussing a patient who's teeth have gone missing.
I asked the patient why she was taking those shoes and her answer was, "I just helping!"* *Note: Patient is Japanese so that's not racist!
Shoe update... Found another patient trying to take the shoes I found earlier from the rightful owner. #Shoepocalypse13
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