Not Your Basic Bitch @betterthnbasic
I may be a crazy drunk bitch but it's better than being basic #basicbitchesfinishlast Joined October 2013-
Tweets71
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Followers121
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Following204
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Likes20
There is a direct correlation between how nice a guy is and how small his dick is, and I've got a decent sample size that I've studied #fact
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Drank 5 outta the 6 days thus far this week, last thing I remember is Monday #boozebag
I would not go near that raw dog dick #notevenonchristmas
When a guy says he can't hangout because he's getting over a "cold", you're only response should be "good because I'm getting over you"
Hoping your hickeys from this weekends hookup fade by the time you see your weekday slam <<<<<
Did I serve my country last night by hooking up with a boy whose about to be deployed to a military base? #AMERICA 🇺🇸
I swear boys get way weirder after you stop hooking up with them so you can forever be embarrassed by your previous life decisions
Not every girl can get laid while half her face is painted like a skull #ButIJustDid #winning 🙌 oh and the sex was GREAT too 💀
I only have two forms of transportation, the struggle bus and the hot mess express. They both are direct to black out city #truth
Wish I could tell people I pulled my hamstring at the gym instead of during sex #ouch
Literally just went to my alcohol class sanction for getting in trouble w/ my school, with THUG LIFE written on my knuckles #hotmessexpress
You know you've won when you're number one on his most snapchatted list 👌
I need to stop going on tinder at work, where I get matched up with hot guys who live a thousand miles away from me #tease 😫
But where is my #1 WingWoman trophy for last night??? ☝🏆
One of the best ways to get to know someone is to find out what music they listen to during sex
The girls who claim the cant drink beer are the same girls who don't swallow #youvebeenwarned
Ladies, don't hook up with a personal trainer at your gym, then you have to not look like complete ass every time you go #impossible
Lets be honest Tuesday is the real humpday... The weekend starts tomorrow people
Interviews are really just a test of how well you can lie about yourself #imapro
I would SO cradle rob this hot new freshman kid at work doe #sorrynotsorry
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