Carmela Moretti @carmmoretti

I am not Tony Soprano's wife. Toronto, Ontario Joined December 2016

Tweets

79
Followers

337
Following

307
Likes

104

Hat @HatTheButcher

9 years ago

Your roommate takes people into her room and you're unsure if you've ever seen her guests come back out. A thought thats eclipsed by the fact she keeps eating your peanut butter

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tubi ad break @hellohappy_time

9 years ago

there is asparagus in my hairagus and I don’t caragus

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tubi ad break @hellohappy_time

9 years ago

well. deez are the nuts of our lives.

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I’m super nervous the other suburban moms will find out I don’t have an instant pot yet and I don’t understand what it is and they will shun me. If they ask, tell them I have dozens of instant pots, potting instantly, as we speak!

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rob elliott @rockymomax

9 years ago

PHARAOH: we shall build religious monuments. they will baffle future science. SUBJECT: should we leave them a note to explain how we did it? PHARAOH: yes, take this down SUBJECT: ok PHARAOH: cat, dog, snake, bird, cat, man with the head of a cat, dog, cat, bird

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kim @KimmyMonte

9 years ago

i passed out on the train yesterday and when i came to a guy helped me sit up, asked me what my name is and what day it was and i was like listen asshole, i’m married.

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jake h @j_k_ley

9 years ago

If Uber had an option where a guy with a mullet picked you up in a '87 Chevy Silverado w/ the windows down, blaring Travis Tritt, cooler full of Coors in the truck bed & responded to everything you said w/ "hell yea brother" then I'd choose it more often than I'm proud to admit

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Italian Recipe Book @italianrecipebk

9 years ago

Craving something light & comforting after the holidays? Make this 10-min Italian pastina soup! 😋 Even when you're sick it's the best remedy for the whole family.

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Italian Recipe Book @italianrecipebk

9 years ago

What's not to love about #artichokes? In this simple and delicious casserole they pair perfectly with potatoes and super light bread & parmesan crust Get the recipe 👉 bit.ly/2Ed3w2u