Logo
Picture

chet gitonga @chetgitonga

creating my brand nairobi-kenya Joined June 2011
  • Tweets
    799
  • Followers
    264
  • Following
    377
  • Likes
    2K
chet gitonga retweeted
Thriving_luos Profile Picture

DHOLUO DICTIONARY , PhD @Thriving_luos

3 years ago

BURIAL OF A 'COMRADE' IN THE VILLAGE. When University students come to your village to bury one of their own, everyone they find in that village is a fool who knows nothing at all, including the parents of the dead student. They don't have names. Their names are comrades. So comrades normally come with the hearse. The university gives them a bus. They come in the evening. Most of them are dressed like the late Papa Wemba or Kofii Olomide. So comrades reach your village. They jump off the bus and catch friendship with some village youth who speaks some little 'Sheng' and look a bit sexy. The male comrades disappear inside the sugarcane plantations with the village girls. The youth shows them chang'aa dens. They drink few tots here and there. In an empty stomach. They resurface again in the funeral when its almost dark, smelling like pub latrines. They are walking like Zangalewa dancers. They are carrying Jerry cans of Chang'aa. They appear from 'tok pacho' crying, wailing, mourning, chanting, making noise. They run towards the casket carrying placards, huge banana leaf placards. They are bare chested. Their shirts tied on their heads. They cry. Cries of alcohol mixed with bhangi and cigarettes. They smell like cattle dip. Their girlfriends are in the tent, taking photos and posting on social media, "Matanga tings" Next day, eulogy is read.... Comrades are impatient. They are still wailing, shouting and kissing their girlfriends. They cant listen to anyone. Everybody in that village is a fool except them, Comrades. When they are given chance to speak. They first call the girlfriend of the dead guy. She comes forth, swaying her ass and walking briskly like a sick kangaroo. She grabs the microphone with her pink polished nails. Her two friends flanking her. They are standing by her side. With huge dark goggles on their faces, they look like Mugabe. She speaks with her nose, "Jose alikuwa chali ya mine. Design alininice nayo mi ndo narada. Mi sina mob la kubonga. Sir God ndo anajua. Na nimefyata. Thanx". Comrades cheer with claps and hullulations. Villagers are silent. They don't understand what the lady is saying but they are composed. They believe she must be saying something good about the dead comrade. You are always expected to speak good of the dead. The widow and her two friends walk back to the tent where other comrades are Before the program ends, they feel that their time is being wasted. One comrade shouts, "COMRADES POWER?" "POWER! " "COMRADES, OLUND LIECH?! " "OLUND LIECH!! " Villagers feel ashamed, they look down, they stare at their own feet. Comrades are now charged. They go and pick the coffin. Direct to the grave. No prayer. No nothing. They bury a comrade, then drink the remaining chang'aa and wail as they head back to their bus. The widow is more drunk than the rest. One of the comrades has already booked her. She is in love with the new man. They stagger towards the bus. Kissing and nursing each other. Villagers stare at them as they speed off. Its raining. The parents of the dead comrade are still sitting near the grave. The girlfriend of the deceased gets pregnant in the journey to Nairobi. Life goes on

chet gitonga retweeted
everymovieplug Profile Picture

Every Movie Plug @everymovieplug

3 years ago

The movie they told you not to watch

chet gitonga retweeted
jain4_ocean Profile Picture

Ocean Jain 2.o @jain4_ocean

3 years ago

This is called fear of wife. 😂 🤣🫣 Her Majesty The Queen, Like We Just Met 14 MILLION FOR V Darshan Congratulations Taehyung #ElvishIsTheBoss or #AbhishekIsTheBoss #WorldEmojiDay #TeJran

chet gitonga retweeted
Tsuma_Brian Profile Picture

Brian Tsuma @Tsuma_Brian

3 years ago

#KTNwelcomehome @ktnhome_

chet gitonga retweeted
cowboystive Profile Picture

♡K-POPチケット @cowboystive

4 years ago

Is this goute really belong to former head of state.. cause damn he really nailed it📌 Swat kalonzo musyoka betty maina

chet gitonga retweeted
SoftnessDaily Profile Picture

softness daily ✨ @SoftnessDaily

4 years ago

winnie the pooh fruit platter 🎀

chet gitonga retweeted
DecolonialBruja Profile Picture

Afrika st. Monet 🇰🇪🏳️‍🌈 @DecolonialBruja

5 years ago

Sheila and I are both 25 and lesbians. I can’t rest because I am one statistic away from being this. I can’t rest because I know my silence will mean Sheila’s death goes unpunished. #ProtectQueerKenyans🇰🇪🏳️‍🌈 #JusticeForSheila🕯

chet gitonga retweeted
DecolonialBruja Profile Picture

Afrika st. Monet 🇰🇪🏳️‍🌈 @DecolonialBruja

5 years ago

Join us for a vigil tomorrow from 9pm we pay our last respects to Sheila. Speakers will be @RadFemskisumu @Boldnetafrica @cryptonait and @PwaniCoven. See you then! x.com/i/spaces/1MYxN… #ProtectQueerKenyans🇰🇪🏳️‍🌈 #JusticeForSheila🕯

chet gitonga retweeted
JackyMontez1 Profile Picture

T.E.G.R.O 💦💞🦋🥴 @JackyMontez1

5 years ago

Me everytime i use other peoples washrooms

chet gitonga retweeted
NickNdeda Profile Picture

Nick Ndeda @NickNdeda

5 years ago

I'll be on @CapitalFMKenya this afternoon talking about the short film #MidnightVan Do tune in! Your support thus far has been 👍🏾

chet gitonga retweeted
stephiemukii Profile Picture

Nairobi_Escapades @stephiemukii

5 years ago

#JusticeforEbbie Let's retweet😔 #lynnNgugi #TalesofWanjiku

chetgitonga Profile Picture

chet gitonga @chetgitonga

5 years ago

@_petropeter Madness

chet gitonga retweeted
NickNdeda Profile Picture

Nick Ndeda @NickNdeda

5 years ago

We also want to translate it into 9 languages because we would love for every voter to watch it before going to the polls. You can help us realize all this by donating to our gofundme. If you're fed up of same shit different election, please share airfunding.net/project/643918…

chet gitonga retweeted
stephiemukii Profile Picture

Nairobi_Escapades @stephiemukii

5 years ago

#JusticeforbabyDavid who was toturted and killed by one Phyllis Njeri. Who is at larger three weeks on... #JusticeforNjoki a mother who lost her son while working in Saudi Arabia 😔 Share widely for justice to prevail😔

chet gitonga retweeted
gapae254 Profile Picture

Thesage254 @gapae254

5 years ago

Dont Say anything,just retweet.#justiceforbabydavid

chet gitonga retweeted
CJMarthaKoome Profile Picture

Hon. Justice Martha K. Koome, FCIArb, EGH @CJMarthaKoome

5 years ago

chetgitonga Profile Picture

chet gitonga @chetgitonga

5 years ago

@NickNdeda @KeTheatreAwards Congratulations @NickNdeda

Trends for United States

Saka
Ukraine
Arsenal
Good Saturday
Russia
Leeds
Chelsea
Zelensky
#WorldMentalHealthDay
Madueke
Putin
#Caturday
Bruno G
Gyokeres
#ARSLEE
Arteta
Lando
Jordan Henderson
Game Day
Havertz

You might like

A follower of Christ, A husband, A father, An enterpreneur#Economic, social and political enthusiast.
MAKORI D
@d_makori
1K Followers
A mom to the most beautiful girl,a doctor turned entrepreneur and philanthropist. I'm passionate about growing businesses, women empowerment and children rights
Waithera
@marcyirene
575 Followers
Father, husband, and a Senior Network Engineer. Views here are own.
Haron Mburu
@haron_mburu
288 Followers
magiya sydney
@magiyasom
48 Followers
Actor, Gospel minister, CEO @Freeman Music entertainment, Land lord at Freeman Apartments
Moza The Freellionair...
@GbLevelflani
76 Followers