Cryptid Crunch (Podcast) @cryptid_crunch
Finally, a breakfast show for the modern cryptid. You don’t have to be humane if you’re not human. Find us on Stitcher, Podbean, Youtube, & Googleplay Podcasts! cryptidcrunchpodcast.podbean.com Joined November 2018-
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Remember to always follow your dreams, even if that dream is a succubus draining your life force 💤
Cat: 9 lives Human: 1 life This means the average werecat has 5 lives.
The road to hell is paved with good intentions. And thus the lost demon set about being the kindest person he could be (lest he never get home.)
Immorality means you can have your mortal and eat it too 🧛🏻♂️
As a vampire I believe there’s a lot of wisdom in the saying: “All good things must come to an end.” ...Let’s just say you’ve lived a good life 🤷🏻♂️
Well, the results are in and this unborn child will be receiving baby clothes and dog toys. They better appreciate these offerings
“If you want something done right, do it yourself.” the gorgon said as she looked out over the sea of stone men and resolved to wine and dine herself 🍷🐍
Don’t count your birdmen before the birdboys pass their flying test.
You can lead a centaur to the pub but you can’t make him drink. This is precisely why centaurs are so uptight.
When the devil comes knocking at your door be sure to tell him the restraining order is still in effect.
Things that are thicker than water: -blood -smoothies Coincidence? I think not
If one door opens when another shuts it means there’s a ghost that can’t stand to be in the same room as you.
Similar to the previous question but:
When going to a baby shower for a werewolf does one bring baby toys or dog toys...? Asking for a friend...
⚠️ATTENTION ⚠️ Cryptid Crunch returns this June🧛🏻♂️🧟♂️🧜🏻♀️🧚🏻♀️👹 Keep an eye out for your favourite breakfast spooks. More details to follow soon!
⚠️HIATUS NOTICE ⚠️ As you lovely cryptids may have noticed we haven’t been active in posting as if late. This is due to two reasons. 1. One of our hosts has had numerous health problems and is unable to work. 2. Another of our hosts is out of country.
THE RITUAL IS COMPLETE. THE NEW JERSEY DEVIL©️ WILL BE PLEAESED. Thank you to all of our lovely cryptids 💕💕👹🧛🏻♂️👻🧟♀️🧙🏻♂️🧞♂️🧜🏻♀️🧚🏻♀️ you make my spooky heart soar
Lately I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of vampire and demon teens injecting small doses of holy water to get high on a flush of burning. Please talk to your children and friends, holy water kills 😞
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There is a possibility of me broadcasting on liveme next week. I will keep you all posted. Come join in, there are 8 slots available and if you don't make it to fill one of those holes then you can join on the chats below. If you download the liveme app look for WifeyDB&DS
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We got our 50th episode coming out. Which creature should we do it on.
YES.
“If you want something done right, do it yourself.” the gorgon said as she looked out over the sea of stone men and resolved to wine and dine herself 🍷🐍
@cryptid_crunch I can't imagine they wouldn't. I knew a guy that gave his kid beef jerky instead of teething toys. It's the same idea, right?
They’re bringing Trixie to stampede maybe this really is the year that queer people take over straight pride. I know I’ll be there in my yeehaw dress in full drag, screaming
Well i guess i will go away for this night . . . i used more energy today than i usually do . . . no more magic for today/tonight...so i guess thats it . . . see yall tomorrow or later my dear sinners 😈🖤
@cryptid_crunch Either way, chew toys seem like a safe bet.
Me: If i do this unhealthy activity/behaviour it’ll lead to this unhealthy mindset Me, When I do the thing and it turns out bad: 😮😮😮
Why am I making decisions I know no one would approve of?
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