dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue. Dorothy Parker quote bot by @HormoneHangover Joined July 2021

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

Once, when I was young and true. Someone left me sad - Broke my brittle heart in two; And that is very bad. Love is for unlucky folk, Love is but a curse. Once there was a heart I broke; And that, I think, is worse.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

Her mind lives tidily, apart from cold and noise and pain. And bolts the door against her heart, out wailing in the rain.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

They sicken of the calm who know the storm.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

Never throw mud. You may miss your mark, but you will have dirty hands.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

Time doth flit; oh shit.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

People Who Do Things exceed my endurance; God, for a man that solicits insurance!

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

If all the girls attending were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

Ah, clear they see and true they say That one shall weep, and one shall stray

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

The lads I've met in cupid's deadlock Were - shall we say? - born out of wedlock

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.

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dorothyparker.txt @d_orothyparker

3 years ago

I do not like my state of mind; I'm bitter, querulous, unkind. I hate my legs, I hate my hands, I do not yearn for lovelier lands. I dread the dawn's recurrent light; I hate to go to bed at night. I snoot at simple, earnest folk. I cannot take the gentlest joke.