Lifeguard Problems @datlifeguard

Watching a kid throw up 5 seconds after you told them to stop drinking the water

One-piece bathing suit tan line is still going strong... 7 months later

Petition to have a day where lifeguards can say whatever they're thinking and not get in trouble for it!

Whenever someone asks if I would save them if they started drowning I proceed to tell them no, cause I don't want to get my hair wet 💁

I'm telling you how to fix your strokes cause you keep splashing me... also you look like your drowning and my boss is glaring at me

The excess amount of chlorine in this pool will either kill me or give me super powers

I hate when parents drag me into situations "she's going to hit you with her guard noodle if you don't get out!!" Uhm pardon? no I won't..

When a kid grabs the bucket of toys and looks like they're going to just dump the whole thing into the pool

PSA: parents, don't get mad at ME for taking a day off, it was YOU who brought your walking viral infection of a kid to lessons last week

"You don't smell like chlorine you can't spend that much time in the water" ***Proceeds to lick arm and shove it in their face to smell

Whenever someone asks me why I'm still a lifeguard... What I tell them: It's rewarding What I mean: I don't have to wear pants

When your coworker keeps pissing you off and they ask "what's wrong?"

Parent - I think some of the rules are a bit unnecessary Me - I think complaining about your child's safety is unnecessary

"After this summer I swear I'm quitting!!" **Proceeds to get another lifeguarding job for the school year

I will neither confirm nor deny that I may have almost crushed a kid getting off the stand today since I was too busy dancing to the radio..

Kid - "All you do is sit on your ass all day!!" Me - "That's not true sometimes I dance along to the songs on the radio"

"Sir... Buddy... Guy in the green shorts!" The point is you're breaking the rules, not that I can't tell how old you are #notreallymyjob

"I jumped off the diving board and splashed the other guard just so you didn't feel like we always single you out!!" Thanks. That helps.

Can't tell if the patron is dead or asleep, I should probably saunter over there and poke him with the guard tube to find out #savinglives

Common sense seems to be lacking at the pool today.. actually who am I kidding, it's lacking everyday #lifeguardproblems