debuggingdad @debuggingdad

I've discovered saying "zucchini" like a Jawa from Star Wars makes my daughter giggle like crazy... but then she eats a pureed spoonful of it. #WhateverItTakes

A baby you pass around among family members, who you know hasn't soiled their diaper since before bedtime... last night.

There is NOTHING more satisfying than seeing your four-month-old wake on the baby monitor... and then put themselves back to sleep a few moments later. Thanks @TakingCaraBabie ♥️

I have been informed “That’s What She Said” jokes are inappropriate with respect to your infant. “I can’t believe you held that in for so long, only to spray it all over yourself!” Say nothing, or mutter to yourself. It’s hard, I know... #twss 🤣

There’s no greater giddy excitement than realizing your closet contains a shirt that matches the one your partner laid out for the baby that morning.

Maximization for Comp Sci Dads: Mom pumps 5-12oz of milk per session, storing in two 8oz bags for the deep freeze. Baby eats 5-6oz per bottle. Derive the ideal oz-to-bag mix so milk isn’t wasted when you travel, (mom may feed or pump, as well). 🤔 #realworld #askingforafriend

Me: I don’t understand it. The kiddo seems to fuss and get hungry so early after a bottle lately. Mommy: Oh! Umm... Me: What? Mommy: I forgot to mention I’ve been adding an extra ounce. 😬🤗 Me: 😑 #mommyknowsbest #mommyknowsall

I was just about to set an alarm in my phone for my kiddo’s next bottle. Then I remembered the fussy, crying, and screaming alarms that are already set.

Pushing a stroller through the electronics dept of @nfmtweets while the stereos pump @darude #Sandstorm is... surreal. Or awesome. I haven’t decided yet.

I’ve seen friends discreetly smell their clothed child’s butt to know if they needed to be changed. I always found the practice a bit odd, but I thought I understood. I just detected traces of my daughter’s freshly soiled diaper from across the nursery. Ok, I get it now.

When you put your baby down in her crib for a nap... a day after she starts her “happy babble” phase. #iknowwhythecagedmogwaibabbles

Imagine seeing dozens of variables declared. You know they’re all important, but an obfuscated module, containing a random number generator, determines if they apply in any particular run. That’s putting an infant to sleep. That’s anything you try to do.

Trying to decide if the “power it off and back on” equivalent is getting my baby down for a nap, or getting a nap myself.