keaton speaks! @harpomarxREAL
the swiss cheese of pop culture | they/he bit.ly/clownsonly Joined January 2012-
Tweets3K
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Followers222
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Following338
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Likes18K
Copernicus asked, "what if the Earth orbited the Sun?" Aristotle asked, "what if the Earth was round?" I ask, "how many times can my bus pass survive the washing machine?"
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all this time i thought i was asexual when really i had just never seen anyone wearing one of those old-fashioned Scroogian nightcaps before
me: i need a new crossword book bennett: or maybe you could make friends
yEs!!! THIS is what it's ALL ABOUT!!! driving a 2003 PT CRUISER!!!
the next morning she wakes up and finds her boyfriend still not there. she gets out to check and the clown mixed nuts can snake pants.
i've had a very productive morning!! which is to say that i've identified a lot of birds.
had the nicest dream... i was eating bbq potato chips.... never wanted to wake up :/
the way i have done this more times than i can count like... just @ me already goddamn
the way i have done this more times than i can count like... just @ me already goddamn
its like they say... where there's a whim there's a way...
one thing abt me is that i will never Not watch a gymnastics video
everyone please enjoy this idea i had while i was falling asleep
keaton speaks! retweeted
Nobody will remember: - your salary - how busy you were - how many hours you worked People will remember: - The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true.
pov ur my computer and ive just clicked "watch next episode" at 3am in the morning
need an antique tiny childs piano like i need air to breathe
it's the last act of verdi's aida. our titular heroine and radamès are about to die tragically in the tomb. it's beautiful, it's heartbreaking. and then aida sings: "i came secretly within." and my 71yo mother leans over and whispers: "i bet she did."
rituals are so so important when one is unemployed and living at home! for example, every day i put on a monkees episode and eat an entire can of pineapple.
havent spoken to another juggler in so long that when someone asked me if i Passed i replied "... as a man?"
i went to an acrobatics drop in tonight (i have never done acro In My Life) and they were immediately like "let's get u in the air and upside down." no foreplay or Anything.
exparagus @gataleenaren
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𝐣𝐨 @jocasablancas
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Ol’ Reliable @jakeyboydotgov
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musclebob buffpants @alinaparkour
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kelso @kDeemzz
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scarlett @sparkyscarlett
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NoraMork @mork_nora68674
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Marxfest @marxfest
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caro reborn @alittleupheaval
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olive penderghast �... @oprynnederghast
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kirby 🩷 | Hey, Gir... @wizardsparamour
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PERIWINKLES BATH AND ... @colleen_ni78381
4 Followers 50 Following I have always loved being creative; from Hairstyling, Aromatherapist, Balloon Decor, Graphic Design, and Face Painting, to my love of creating bath & Body Care.
jae k @JaeJaeK0
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maddie @_crosscheck
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sarah @wasserman_sarah
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dyke charlie kelly @3ballsbedwetter
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Meagan, Muppets Tonig... @Mbarbea4B
66 Followers 229 Following she/her • Muppets • Practical Folks/DnDnD/Dead Meat • K-Pop 🌻
Chloe 💫 (cdelull.b... @Ingiebeans
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Liam CZA Noble @liamTheWanderer
156 Followers 595 Following @folkpie • writer, researcher, citizen of the democratic modernity • [email protected] • https://t.co/hrl6DQCMNu
Matt Haverty 🌐 @TherealMattHav
64 Followers 399 Following Just your friendly neighborhood emissary from hell
Moose Finger @MitchellFinger
175 Followers 1K Following You have thirty seconds to laugh at my last name... and GO! I shout about Video Games and TTRPGs into the endless void of Twitter
Talia @shortia29
6 Followers 64 Following
marlee claassen @marleejoyc
76 Followers 151 Following
JENNIFER_TRADING AND ... @Michael25745861
9 Followers 106 Following Forex trader 📈📈 Entrepreneur 💼💼 Sinal mentor DM for investment and questions on trading📊
rachel @rachel__80
199 Followers 170 Following liar, monster, snappy dresser // she/her // alt: @so_umm_yeah
horse tranquilser pio... @oldnoid
45 Followers 1K Following toxxed on the wetty gush the sloshy pook wicked
T Rex Tony Stark @moreorlesseli
212 Followers 276 Following “We must protect our town from the pasta,” shouted the Mayor,
shelbi_chandler @sheldichanbler
200 Followers 388 Following she/her. filmlover. videomaker. the brunette white lady lead of a sci-fi franchise. IG: https://t.co/z9uAcbUWra
KimH @KimJustTrying
45 Followers 234 Following Cant tell if my bones hurt cause Im angry about the world, or if Im angry about the world cause my bones hurt all the time. Either way, early onset arthritis
ACADEMIC CHAMPIONS�... @academicchamps2
27 Followers 436 Following We offer help in essay writing, online classes, term/research/thesis papers, dissertation, book reviews among others. Plagiarism free and 100% legit work.
meeksbb6 @meeksbb6
58 Followers 229 Following Aries☀️ Sagittarius🌙 Virgo✨ momma bear / milf in my free time
maggie 🧡 @orangemaggie
1K Followers 576 Following maggie mae/margaret/marge ,,, 8 years old. face is angry, but héart is ful of lov,e, for my frends:) header by frend @bearsbeetspoet
The Goldwyn Girls Pod... @GoldwynGirlsPod
710 Followers 1K Following Two twenty-somethings take on classic films. Join @sleepyserenade and @MeredithRiggs39 as they discuss various films and film-related topics
Dom @DomJJS
525 Followers 5K Following Host of Spieling The Beans podcast, Brighton Fringe Award Nominated Stand-Up & Theatre Director, Producer, Comedy Writer, Actor, Simon Amstell’s Stunt Double
Merrilee Marshall @Monk157
23 Followers 140 Following
butternut squash @pidge_bakes
999 Followers 933 Following fig | 24 | critter vibes | banner by @Comma_Parker
exparagus @gataleenaren
599 Followers 811 Following it picks me up, puts me down / ♏︎ ♈︎ ♋︎ / 25 / she/they
𝐣𝐨 @jocasablancas
236 Followers 347 Following adventure time fan first, psychic second, taurus third. teacher too
Ol’ Reliable @jakeyboydotgov
365 Followers 429 Following Modern; agile. Dionysus/Bacchus. don’t let me get an MRI. he/him. 7-Time New York Times Crossword Submitter
musclebob buffpants @alinaparkour
356 Followers 325 Following black eyed peas stan first, human second // she/her
kelso @kDeemzz
738 Followers 887 Following 🗣♥️ i believe that it’s possible for all of us to be in love all the time, with ourselves, with everyone around us! (she/her)
scarlett @sparkyscarlett
410 Followers 956 Following Free Palestine 🇵🇸 socialist🌹 IBEW apprentice 💡wife guy 💕 mostly on the other app rn, same handle tho
scottie @ioweyuo
980 Followers 599 Following
annie💘 @magnoliasimmss
3K Followers 753 Following “We were born to love one another” •🌈☮️🍄🌞• running @dolenzarchive
sandra 🕊 @stmatthewsimms
242 Followers 189 Following peter tork told me he loves me and michael nesmith called me darling and that’s all that matters - 26
Marxfest @marxfest
615 Followers 263 Following Hello, you must be going! https://t.co/usSeRsfQNL. New York City Celebrates the #MarxBrothers.
Val(erie) 🍉 ♠️ @valerie__ughh
454 Followers 295 Following Hello good evening and welcome | 27 | long-haired weirdo | absolutely flaming aromantic-asexual | crafty pleb | biiiiiiig fan of Tsuga canadensis | she/her
moss | mossgroves �... @mossgroves_art
2K Followers 820 Following Moss, she/her, 30s, OFMD fanartist. 🏳️🌈🏴☠️ Rhys Darby appreciator and devotee of Ed Teach's beautiful hair. I draw pirates in love. 18+ only! Comms open
em ✨🏴☠️ m... @emcolbs
4K Followers 393 Following she/they | 27 | i just like to draw lil guys, what can i say 💖💜💙 creator of #OurFramesMeanLove
sara 🦋 @chaoticmulaney
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Rhys Darby @rhysiedarby
303K Followers 1K Following Comic actor... the list goes on. The Legend Returns Tour 2025 - NZ, AUS, UK & IRELAND see https://t.co/ZKolDIsk02 for dates near you..
The Cryptid Factor @cryptidfactor
7K Followers 253 Following Join @RhysieDarby, @Schreiberland & Buttons for the greatest paranormal cryptozoological radio show you've ever seen. I mean heard.
maddie @_crosscheck
533 Followers 1K Following “I have a beating heart! I’m multi-dimensional! I’m a fully-realized creation!”// bookseller, writer, insufferable Washingtonian, occasional standup comic
witchy ✶ working on... @morningwitchy
94K Followers 410 Following 🌿polina ✨ apparel designer. botanical illustrator. creator of morningwitch studio 🌿 reach out at - greetings(at)morningwitch(dot)com
Percy Jackson @PercySeries
264K Followers 20 Following Season 2 of #PercyJackson and the Olympians is coming to #DisneyPlus December 10. 🌊
Beauty Of Nature 🌳 @ShouldHaveAnima
1.7M Followers 58 Following The Perfect account to show your parents when you want an animal & nature
Meagan, Muppets Tonig... @Mbarbea4B
66 Followers 229 Following she/her • Muppets • Practical Folks/DnDnD/Dead Meat • K-Pop 🌻
what we do in the sha... @TheShadowsOOC
58K Followers 0 Following don't follow this page. move to the clock app, it's theshadowsooc there too.
Mr Bean @MrBean
312K Followers 44 Following Welcome to the official Twitter account of Mr Bean, run by Mr Bean, obviously. All tweets in a Beany capacity.
Chloe 💫 (cdelull.b... @Ingiebeans
1K Followers 708 Following Cacoethes - a bisexual sugar baby novel - out now: https://t.co/TIudDdVn5h 🌈👀😘 {She/Her}
Overwatch @PlayOverwatch
3.5M Followers 235 Following Where players become Heroes. Jump into the ever-evolving, free-to-play action today! @BlizzardCS for support.
marlee claassen @marleejoyc
76 Followers 151 Following
Moose Finger @MitchellFinger
175 Followers 1K Following You have thirty seconds to laugh at my last name... and GO! I shout about Video Games and TTRPGs into the endless void of Twitter
rachel @rachel__80
199 Followers 170 Following liar, monster, snappy dresser // she/her // alt: @so_umm_yeah
T Rex Tony Stark @moreorlesseli
212 Followers 276 Following “We must protect our town from the pasta,” shouted the Mayor,
no context monkees @incorrectmonkee
1K Followers 32 Following trust me, these things happened | she/her | run by @prettygirlwhy
gender of the day @genderoftheday
75K Followers 0 Following Genderbot lets us outsource our feelings about gender to a bot, which I think should free up a lot of mental space for other things. Botparent: @mishafletch
KimH @KimJustTrying
45 Followers 234 Following Cant tell if my bones hurt cause Im angry about the world, or if Im angry about the world cause my bones hurt all the time. Either way, early onset arthritis
Lucy & Yak @LucyandYak
30K Followers 416 Following Join the Comfort Movement 💗✨ Tag #InMyYaks to feature 📸 Ships worldwide 🌎 Sign up for the latest 💌⬇️
WholesomeMemes @WholesomeMeme
2.9M Followers 275 Following 🇨🇦 We post memes, comics, wholesome stuff & anything we like. Get original shirts to raise money for charity https://t.co/Upa2OFOAJk
Slapstick Festival @SlapstickFest
5K Followers 1K Following 🎭Bringing the best in silent and visual comedy since '05 🗓️Silent Comedy Gala - 06/02 🎪 Celebrating Terry Jones - 15/11 🤣Stand Out Stand Up- 06/10
Why you should have a... @ShouldHaveCat
4.4M Followers 246 Following The perfect account to show to your parents when you want a cat 😺❤ @FoundationOfWen
Jack @yellowbb325
233 Followers 1K Following they/them I'm sorry, I'm sure you followed me for one reason but I'm gonna retweet a lot of other stuff, too
buzzfeed unsolved wit... @bfunocontext
78K Followers 5 Following bfu, ghost files, mystery files | also @nocontxtwatcher | not @wearewatcher | run by @bradpistachio
Matt Haverty 🌐 @TherealMattHav
64 Followers 399 Following Just your friendly neighborhood emissary from hell
maggie 🧡 @orangemaggie
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