IHS Senior Assassin @ihsassassin2018
please let us know if your Twitter roast is too offensive or if you don’t want one, we will gladly take it down Issaquah, WA Joined April 2018-
Tweets150
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Followers328
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Following159
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Lauren Rosen is dead. Now that she is in heaven she can go after the man she truly desires.
Dil Thiagarajan is dead. Thankfully him and Claire both are this time.
Since Jeff Cash wants a joke so bad, here’s one: Jeffrey Cash is dead. Unlike his pathetic magic tricks, death could actually make him disappear.
Kendall breeden is dead. Expect her to post 3 different boomerangs of the crime scene on her Instagram story.
Three strikes and Mariah Van Halm is gone! This wouldn’t be the first time she’s struck out with an Issaquah pitcher.
Justin Buckner has been eliminated. He reportedly accused this of being fake news, then suggested this wouldn’t have happened if we had a wall. Sad!
Allie Aarestad has been killed. She had already been stumbling through the halls after downing only two.
Dan Constantinescu has been assassinated. During his own obituary he reportedly sat up in his coffin and asked, “wait, what’re we talking about?”
Grace Chen has just been eliminated. Sorry Grace, unlike UT Austin you can’t appeal this one!
Grant Williams has just been eliminated. Surprisingly, his placement in death is only his second acceptance letter of the spring!
Anna lindahl has been killed. Sadly, her boyfriend couldn't save her, no wonder she always liked Jared Hummeny more than him.
Cecilia Bailey assassinated mercilessly by her own twin. Blood may be thicker than water, but then again, so is marker ink.
Alison Gentzen has been eliminated. Any joke we say will just go over her head anyways so maybe we shouldn’t bother
Jun Ahn has been killed. We’re confident that he’s already turning a profit in heaven #decaordie
Haven Moo has been assassinated. The sports med kids weep for the waste of 85 hours.
Mady Kurpgeweit was evidently even less prepared for senior assassins than she was for her ASB photo
Cole Thomas has been assassinated. Zumiez mourns the loss of their final customer.
Keelin Dillon has been assassinated. She was truly a ride or die for whichever gang she’s throwing up a sign for here
Kate Tuohy has been eliminated. She may DQ everyone out of spite, so tread carefully
Haley Morris has been assassinated. Classrooms are now eerily quiet as she’s no longer there to ask teachers 20 questions in one breath.
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