Quack! @incorrectw359

A bot that posts incorrect quotes from the podcast Wolf 359. Run by @traineryeliow. DM for suggestions! Joined September 2018

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Quack! @incorrectw359

5 years ago

Eiffel: Minkowski sees the glass half empty, I see it as half full. That’s why we make a good team. Hilbert, on the other hand, just experiments on the bottle. Hera wonders why it has to be glass, and Lovelace usually breaks the glass by putting her feet up on the table.

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5 years ago

Lambert: Rules were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Rhea: Uh, pinatas? Fourier: Glow sticks? Lovelace: Karate boards! Fisher: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Hui: And rules!

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5 years ago

Eiffel: I just wanna tell y’all that school's not important. Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog, WOOF, ya know?

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5 years ago

Hilbert, looking in the first-aid kit: Why did you fill this with pop-tarts?! Eiffel, bleeding out: I thought it was funny at the time

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5 years ago

Minkowski: Who cares if it’s only been a week? How long do you have to know someone before you do the right thing? Jacobi: 9 weeks! Minimum!

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5 years ago

Eiffel: I think I speak for all of us when- Minkowski and Hera, simultaneously: He doesn't.

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5 years ago

Hilbert: Hey, I’m Dr Hilbert, lemme teach you how to make cereal! Hilbert: Grab some milk. Hilbert, opening fridge: Aaand OH MY GOD *pushes decapitated head out the fridge* WE’RE OUT OF MILK!

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5 years ago

Eiffel: Nonsense! Dougie-fresh doesn't know the meaning of the word "give up!" Minkowski: That's two words. Eiffel: ...Then I don't know the meaning of it twice!

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5 years ago

Hera: Maxwell forgive me, but you, Miranda Pryce, are a bitch.

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5 years ago

Minkowski: Doug, don’t say a word. Eiffel: Eiffel: Fergalicious. Minkowski: I said no words. Eiffel: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble, it’s not a word, and now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.

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5 years ago

Rachel: Why do you want to be an astronaut? Minkowski: 'Cause I can't sing or dance.

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5 years ago

Hera: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do? Lovelace: Have everyone stand. Minkowski: Bring three more chairs! Eiffel: My favourites can sit down. Hilbert: Kill three.

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5 years ago

Lovelace: My only hope right now is you. A kind, selfless, amazing nerd. Fourier: Do you have to call me a nerd so much? Lovelace: I said a lot of other nice things, okay? Toughen up, nerd.

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5 years ago

Kepler: If someone physically threatens you, scare them off by saying you have a pain kink. Works on Lovelace every time.

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5 years ago

Eiffel: [plays The Entertainer at the funeral] Lovelace, coming back from the dead: Turn that shit off. Did you all just ignore the Spotify playlist I left at the bottom of my will?

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5 years ago

Eiffel: I have a better idea! Hilbert: No, you don't, Officer Eiffel. History has proven that.

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5 years ago

Hui: How was I? Fourier: Scattered. Annoying. Alternating between genius and bad puns. Hui: [nods] Business as usual, then.

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5 years ago

Kepler: Oh, so suddenly you don't have death wish! Lovelace: Kepler, I've never had a death wish. It's just that I don't believe that I, personally, can even die.

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5 years ago

Eiffel: Are you suggesting I occasionally stray from the rule book? Minkowski: I'm suggesting it's unlikely you own a copy of the rule book, and if you do possess one, it has certainly never been opened.