Another coverup by Big Cannibal
"military says his WWII plane lost at sea" apparently these Pentagon coverup hacks are now trying to gaslight us into ignoring the likelihood he was eaten by amphibious mer-cannibals
I never vote, but jfc if his stories are gonna keep getting crazier like this, he's got mine
Let me tell you about my third uncle twice removed Seamus McDougal O'Flaherty. He was the first half-man-half-potato astronaut for NASA. That's a fact jack, he volunteered after Sputnik in '57 even though NASA had a big "Irish Not Need Apply" on their building.
But he got around the NASA No Irish rule on a technicality because his 23andMe DNA test said he was 50.2% potato. Anyway Werner Von Braun had been working on NASA's secret weapon: a nuclear-powered interstellar potato gun. He personally selected Seamus as test pilot.
So one day they loaded up Uncle Seamus into the potato gun and wheeled it onto their top secret launchpad on Reheboth Beach Delaware, and aimed it at the Moon. Even if it was well known at that time the Moon was crawling with potato-eating Moon potatoes.
It was a suicide mission, but Uncle Seamus swore he'd be the first man to conquer the Moon potato cannibals, and plant the flag of Scranton PA on the lunar surface. I was 17 at the time. He swore me to secrecy, even if that essay story would make me a shoo-in for Harvard.
I remember our whole family swelling with pride and saluting on the launch pad as he blasted from the potato gun and out of the atmosphere, especially Seamus's mother Auntie Russet, who was the first potato in history to go to Scranton Secretarial college.
Tragically Auntie Russet would later die of radiation exposure from the nuclear potato gun, and to this day I have never forgiven Werner Von Braun.
@iowahawkblog It was on a Sundee, say those who were there
@iowahawkblog She also personally counted all 30,000 pounds of bananas that fell of the truck that tragic day long ago.
@iowahawkblog Holy 💩dude you would make a great president! 🤣