Javierisms @javierisms
Tweets from a co-worker who is a master in the art of metaphors Cubicle Land Joined November 2009-
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You gave me a 20ft pile of poop and a beach shovel. Don't complain about me being slow.
Just let him fart mentally for a while, to get it out of his system.
He will be cringing so much, it will be like a cactus is being shoved up his ass, he will be puckering so much.
You gotta wipe your ass after you shit. It ain’t pretty, you just gotta do it.
He's like a clown looking for new audiences to laugh at his jokes.
Shit rolls down hill. Today I'm a turd and I'm coming down your throat.
Duct tape can't fix stupid, it can only muffle the sound.
Melt me down like a hard drive. No ones gonna miss me. I'm on borrowed time.
As they'd say in Silence of the Lambs, "I'm having a friend for dinner."
You don’t get to jump in the pool (aka connect to the network) until you shower.
You've heard of the Year of the Dog? For me this is the Year of the F*ck. And not in a good way.
That team is a petting zoo. Everybody wants to pet them, nobody wants to take care of them.
<insert anyone's name> needs to be harassed. That's how he feels loved.
The don't call it french fries, the call it shredded potato. It's french fries!
He became a goal keeper at the skeet range... Pull!
Duct tape on a Ferrari racing tire - ain't gonna last.
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