je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

Less 'charizard', more 'chorizo' Joined July 2019

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

8 months ago

What's the point of going paperless if I'm still gonna get sent that shit in the mail anyway? W-2s, I'm lookin at you 👀

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

11 months ago

"Where were you all day on Monday?" "Oh, I was at a motorcycle class." "Oh okay. You know what not to do, right?" Yeah but lowkey learning to be a goon can make you a safer rider, soo... 🤷

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

a year ago

You ever just fall into a rabbit hole of listicles about why your life sucks and now you think you're some depressed, antisocial, alcoholic vegetable husk of a subhuman? Listicles are my WebMD

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

a year ago

Have you ever taken a shit so horrifyingly big that you... A) ...wonder how you survived B) ...wonder how you didn't lose any weight after I almost met God today...

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

a year ago

I'm slowly approaching the point where I'm choosing not to look at my work Slack so I can just go in and be disappointed for 8 hours instead of 24.

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

a year ago

I'm so glad we added modCheck to the emojis on the work Slack

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

a year ago

Y'all ever just feel really undignified trying to get out of a car parked in between two other cars?

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I just found out about the recent passing of competitive Chun Li player BrolyLegs. But given his play style I think a more fitting gamer tag would have been ChunniLingus Mad respect for the guy though to be able to play at that level. RIP 🙏

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

2 years ago

When your coworkers pretend it's your birthday on the comms and the resident workplace goddess thinks it's the real deal

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

2 years ago

Get yourself a separate pair of tweezers for the sole purpose of picking your nose. You're welcome.

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

2 years ago

When you see a "Buy 2, Get 3 Free" deal on chips the question isn't "Should I?" it's "Which flavors do I want?"

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

2 years ago

I felt a strangely crunchy thing in the back of my chair the other day. It was a half eaten PopTart still in the wrapper.

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

2 years ago

I dunno who "her" is, but...

non aesthetic things @PicturesFoIder

2 years ago

I dunno who "her" is, but...

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

2 years ago

Damn I just took the nastiest shit at work. THE NASTIEST FUCKING SHIT. No, I won't be posting any pictures.

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je•Rizz•ome @jerizzome

2 years ago

Dad: "You got a trash bag back there?" Without waiting for a response from me or my brother he proceeds to toss some trash into the backseat where there currently resides my brother, myself, and no trash bags.