jons sandwich shop @jonsandwichshop
unfortunately we’re closed Touchdown Tom Avenue Joined February 2014-
Tweets4K
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Followers14K
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Following1
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Likes611
1. secret base is starting an early-release patreon for special projects 2. i have made a new three-part documentary series that has nothing to do with sports 3. i am bringing back PRETTY GOOD youtu.be/WNTvVg1MoQA?si…
blackthorne: running an entirely online platform based on one joke is incredibly difficult! do you know how taxing it is to say the same thing in hundreds of different ways?! it’s impossible to stay relevant! mariko: the anjin says jon’s sandwich shop is closed
░J░O░N░S░ S░A░N░D░W░I░C░H░ S░H░O░P░I░S░C░L░O░S░E░D░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
shohei ohtani is not dining at jon’s sandwich shop as we are unfortunately closed
jon’s sandwich shop may enter another period of inactivity (closed) as we are being indicted for securities fraud at 4PM today. as always, thank you for your understanding and support
I SAID YES!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍😍💍💍💍 😘💋 a customer just asked me if jon’s sandwich shop is closed
jon’s sandwich shop is the future state of unlimited interactivity – centered in audio, video, messaging, payments/banking – creating a global marketplace for ideas, goods, services and opportunities. jon’s sandwich shop will connect us all in ways we’re just beginning to imagine
sorry, you are rate limited from ordering at jon’s sandwich shop. please wait until we re-open then try again
just saw someone wearing this shirt on the street, does anyone know where i can purchase this t-shirt?
has anyone seen this couch? it’s jons but i spilled some mustard on it so i put it out to dry after cleaning it and now it’s gone. gonna have to close up the shop while i look for it, sorry folks
jon’s sandwich shop revealed its business algorithm to the world. but what does it mean for you? i spent the evening analyzing it. here’s what you need to know: jon’s sandwich shop is closed
“I knew the day that Jon’s Sandwich Shop was announced they would always be closed. I consider Jon a close friend and mentioned my beliefs to him multiple times over the years, but he continued pouring money into that failed operation.”
as an expert in being closed, @twitter is doing a bang up job i say
be sure to check out all my cool ‘jon’s sandwich shop is closed’ tweets, like this one. we’re closed
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15 Followers 635 Following1. secret base is starting an early-release patreon for special projects 2. i have made a new three-part documentary series that has nothing to do with sports 3. i am bringing back PRETTY GOOD youtu.be/WNTvVg1MoQA?si…
i’m the guy who spends all night smugly pointing out that the nfl is holding the super bowl in las vegas to capitalize on sports betting. you’re going to hear me say “it allllll comes back to the almighty dollar, my friend” at least 10 or 11 times
@jonsandwichshop unfortunately you will need to plead guilty at this time.
we got a new dog. his name's chuck
this is exactly how i would write this post. just remember that if ai can come for my job, it can come for yours
there are 100 possible moves on a chess board. that means a 100 percent chance of winning – if you play your cards right
@jonsandwichshop unfortunately i have already placed the order at this time.
heads up everybody, i’m putting in a lunch order for mr. crappy’s idiotic bistro. just let me know whether you want the stupid panini that’s way too big with some kind of weird sweet bullshit on it or the raisin sushi
jordan passed on today, very comfortably and peacefully. he was endlessly funny and eccentric in ways i thought only a human could be. everyone who met him couldn’t get enough of him. hell of a 17-year run from louisiana shelter pup to true, one-of-a-kind legend. love you bubba!
tried burger king tonight because i hadn’t tried it in a few years and wanted to give them a shot. the whopper’s still a no-flavor patty with good toppings, but a shitty bun that falls apart. the chicken fries are trash. really sorry state of affairs over there
much of the most exciting video in sports media is being produced by independent creators. and while praise is heaped upon documentary makers, we shouldn’t forget those who create highlight compilations, which often take an extraordinary amount of work to research and produce
The year is 2045. The first astronauts have landed on Mars. They find a cave with a human skeleton. And 4 words are written on the wall. What are the four words
watched the bear. was kind of caught on my heels by how good it was. jon seal of approval
@jonsandwichshop unfortunately we will need to close down while we investigate this issue.
@jon_bois which way to mlb trade rumors
wasn’t sure who to take this to first, but i guess i’ll just start by announcing it here. i’m claiming this galaxy for myself. this is jon’s galaxy, hands off
@jon_bois A little update about "Jon's Galaxy." From preliminary HST analysis it looks like we're seeing it about 6 - 7 billion years ago. As you probably already knew, it's pretty massive, about 90 billion sun's worth of material, with very little ongoing star formation.
last night someone got mad, started a burner and in a 2-hour span posted like 100 furious replies to seemingly anyone who had ever tweeted about the walker brothers, me included. obviously embarrassing to get that mad about a 1960s pop group but god what a spectacular performance
@beefalo123 @jon_bois you’re a fucking loser dude
this is where i’m donating. if you do, it’ll be split between a whole lot of abortion funds in kentucky, texas, west virginia, utah, and just about everywhere else in the country secure.actblue.com/donate/support…