Laws of Tinder @lawsoftinder
Love 2 lift | Pizza | But first coffee | Wanderlust | Craft Beer | Not here for hookups | Swiped right for your dog Joined May 2017-
Tweets19
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Followers5
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Following124
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Likes0
When you accidentally swipe left on someone and you spend the night wondering if you just cast away your soul mate
When you match and send a nice thoughtful message first and they respond "lol"
Self-claimed entrepreneur? They just lost their job. #SwipeLeft
If the best pickup line he can come up with is "hey", don't expect any love letters in the future.
Sunglasses in every picture? They have a lazy eye.
If he has 4 different cars in his photos, he owns none of them.
Niece in every pic? He wants you to have his child ASAP. Still your call.
1 maxi skirt + 1 photo with an orphan in a 3rd world country = 95% chance she loves the Lord
To the single-parents on Tinder: What's your plan here?
Anyone who claims they're a wine aficionado isn't one. They're still buying Barefoot at Sheetz. #SwipeLeft
Repeat after me: EVERY 👏 BODY 👏 LOVES 👏 TRAVELING 👏
If he's leaning on a Mercedes, there's a 78% chance he'll tell you his compensation unsolicited. #SwipeLeft , his father employs him.
1 photo holding a fish + 1 gym selfie = lifetime of disappointment
If she has a dog in more than half her pics, don't let her fool you, she has 0 interests. #SwipeLeft
When someone sends you a screenshot of your own Tinder profile
If she's at a vineyard with her family, swipe right. Network with her father.
Rule #2: If they're laying on the beach alone, they're a failed model. Swipe left.
Rule #1: Is every pic a group shot? Swipe left
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