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How do all homeless people manage to get the same dog? A gold Labrador...
Why do they call it a flea market? I've never seen fleas for sale. What if I wanted to buy fleas? My neighbor's dog is annoying...
It's been a while since I've had some good authentic Mexican food... It's also been a while since I've had a good authentic colon cleansing.
Awesome. I am officially part of the club where people have tweeted while on the toilet. A glorious moment for mankind.
You know... If George Strait actually wrote his lyrics, he probably would have died from drinking in the 90s.
Everyone should drive at least 10MPH over the speed limit. Law enforcement needs to get paid too.
How to get rid of anti-gun activists: Shoot them.
So I forgot about the time moving back. Got to Hastings an hour before it opened. Yeah.
OccupyToilet. A movement that gets shit taken care of.
No sir, the sauce is not hot. Bring me pancakes instead.
You just can't take a dump and wear a coat. You just can't.
YES. Email me with changes for artwork. You will most definitely get them. Tomorrow.
Apparently for one person here, it's only ok if they need time off, but of I need a couple days for my wedding, it's not ok... Strange, hmm?
Police tracking Twitter? Deliberate and sophisticated incompetence.
Wait so we can be recorded but in some states we can't defend ourselves by recording others? Huh?
RIP George Jones @Country_Power
25 Followers 116 Following On the wings of a snow white dove, he sends his pure sweet love... RIP King George Jones, 81.
Launching July 2026! @Warrior
20K Followers 2K Following The Bleeding Edge of Decentralized P2E MMORPG Gaming. https://t.co/A1lgPJnrBP
Mush @MushroomBoy1022
170 Followers 91 Following My thoughts; https://t.co/RMgHXBJvsl My old side project; https://t.co/sqpN0lxGNk
RIP George Jones @Country_Power
25 Followers 116 Following On the wings of a snow white dove, he sends his pure sweet love... RIP King George Jones, 81.Trends for United States
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