ّ @lonewailing

it’s always either overwhelming or underwhelming.. apparently never gets easier to deal with. i just learned how to hide it under the rug.

badly want to get on someone’s nerves only for them to put me in my place and degrade the shit out of me when i finally let down my bratty attitude out of the mindbreaking sensation of being stuffed. fuuuuuuck.

sange banget tapi enggak juga tapi pengen ah anjing. i need to fucking get laid.

i spent the entire night calculating about what i should do the next day only for me to wake up feeling sore and fatigued because i only can manage to fall asleep at 4ish and it was not pleasant at all.

mau nangis i rly can't handle any signs of rejection

mau ngeluh i am much more tired than i have to admit i feel like my body is slowly giving up it makes me feel weaker and more sensitive too i barely can take things lightly.. capeek.

i’m so tired

entah guenya kurang sibuk atau kurang penting

@mydeimin @frontgent going to another con and want to save time, wouldn’t it be better to just ask right away? kalau maksudnya emang cuma friendly reminder, should’ve phrased it better then :)

@mydeimin @frontgent i do get why it’s upsetting but i still don’t think it’s fair to blame the artist for it. putting ‘respectfully’ to the sentence doesn’t mean it comes across that way when the rest of their message is clearly blaming them. if you (1) really want the merch and (2) don’t plan on +

2025 juga deh but i wasn’t actually into them so 😭

terakhir diginiin 2024...

misa! @misak1nz

a week ago

was stalking their page and they were talking about me

31 964 7K 112K 600

it’s sad, actually. but i hate being demanding. and saddens me more because i want it to work out so bad.

kayanya bukan adjusting, is it more like mirroring? like i’m actually the type to update about things real time from a to z, from the important down to the useless tmis. but if they don’t do it, i found myself reluctant on doing so, too. i wanted it to go both ways..

staying true to myself is hard.. i always end up adjusting myself with the other person. while it works fine, there are times i feel indifferent and realized it’s not actually me. got uncomfortable. isolate myself. losing myself.

capeknya sama pikiran sendiri...

mau jadi pelupa juga gmn sih wkwkwkw

i can list all the things that makes me feel a certain way but it will be seen as perhitungan. but it stings each time this thing is repeated. kaya nunggu kapan gue muaknya aja.