matt the goat herder @mattharmon01
sr-71 blackbird enthusiast/tiny dancer listener/the emperor’s new groove lover 🐐 Joined October 2012-
Tweets13K
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Followers616
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Following896
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Likes79K
matt the goat herder retweeted
Wtf this gotta do with me?
Wtf this gotta do with me?
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matt the goat herder retweeted
Me pranking my doctor before he puts me in the MRI machine
Me pranking my doctor before he puts me in the MRI machine
matt the goat herder retweeted
if i was a snapping turtle i would never let people put things in my mouth for an instagram reel . i would show a little more tact than most
matt the goat herder retweeted
matt the goat herder retweeted
this lives rent free in my head
matt the goat herder retweeted
Horse decides to join the bike race
matt the goat herder retweeted
Blanco had a daughter, made his first opening day roster, and threw a no hitter... in the same week... So far including spring training Blanco has made 5 started thrown 24.4 innings and has yet to give up a run.
matt the goat herder retweeted
Buzz Aldrin punches a conspiracy theorist after being accused of faking the moon landing (2002)
matt the goat herder retweeted
nobody even gives a fuck about eeyore anymore u all just forgot about him. Except me i think about him constantly
matt the goat herder retweeted
There’s a lot of confusion about Jesus, but let me give you some facts: Jesus was a great American and a southern Baptist who literally wrote the Bible. He also made an absolutely sick, championship quality pinewood derby car during his time as an RA. If those facts make you…
matt the goat herder retweeted
armadillos are the defensive form of porcupines. no i will not expound on this.
matt the goat herder retweeted
matt the goat herder retweeted
This is some shit your white homie shows you and he’s like holding his phone and he’s looking at you the whole time waiting for you to laugh and then you shoot nose wind and say “damn that’s crazy“
This is some shit your white homie shows you and he’s like holding his phone and he’s looking at you the whole time waiting for you to laugh and then you shoot nose wind and say “damn that’s crazy“
matt the goat herder retweeted
Protect Jack Grealish at all costs
matt the goat herder retweeted
I decided to dine at @LongHornSteaks tonight. When I placed my order, I asked the waiter to confirm that I would be served 100% beef-fed beef. The following transpired: Him: Sir, all of our steaks are made with grass-feed beef. Me: Junior, I’m not interested in eating a…
matt the goat herder retweeted
Philadelphia Fc players wife on his photo with Messi: “He never looked at me like that.” 😂😂
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