Matthew Porter @matthewporter__
MUFC Glasgow, Scotland Joined January 2016-
Tweets298
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Followers81
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Following184
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Likes7K
My manager
🚨🏴 Kobbie Mainoo starts for England tonight.
🚨🏴 Official: Kobbie Mainoo has been called up to the England first-team, the decision is to promote him.
Warming up for Cheltenham. Good luck everyone 🙏
BREAKING: COVID vaccines from companies like Pfizer, Moderna, and AstraZeneca have been linked to slight increases in heart, brain, and blood disorders, according to the largest vaccine study to date.
🤣🤣🤣 train fares up again, medical staff underpaid, majority of roads are an absolute disgrace to drive on, and public services keep getting cut back...but here's another £2.5bn from nowhere. Get them out.
🤣🤣🤣 train fares up again, medical staff underpaid, majority of roads are an absolute disgrace to drive on, and public services keep getting cut back...but here's another £2.5bn from nowhere. Get them out.
Happy New Year! 🍾 Next 365 NAP’s win.
KEANOOOS FUCKING MAGIC
👏👏
Feed the scousers! 🐀🇾🇪😂
This is how ‘Just Stop Oil’ wish you a Merry Christmas. A beautiful Christmas tree - the planning, the cost, the hard work. Now heading for landfill. What a bunch of tossers. 😡
It snowed last night... 8:00 am: I made a snowman. 8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman. 8:15 - So, I made a snow woman. 8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women…
JUST RETWEET.
So shit man
Nonce
Two years in a youth detention centre for killing a pensioner, that’ll teach him! The justice system in this country is utterly deranged.
Two years in a youth detention centre for killing a pensioner, that’ll teach him! The justice system in this country is utterly deranged.
Complete and utter waste of space, leave u nobhead
Complete and utter waste of space, leave u nobhead
Well played mase, we go again after international break
Well played mase, we go again after international break
Pop a snus lad
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In completely unrelated news I will be sitting in the north stand from now on
“Can my mate come to the afters, he’s sound don’t worry” The mate:
Back from Greece but I’ve missed this 👌Warming up for the game tomorrow 🍻 Have a great night everyone 😁
Don’t stop cause yer leg fell aff
Vibes are high at LIV Golf Adelaide 🎙️“That’s not the granny shack” 👱♀️ (Via: @LIVRandONIONS | @arlowhite)
No Mum I havent been baby reindeered.
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It’s matchday 35 😭😭😭
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MY BEST MATE!!!!
🚨 NEW SIGNING 🚨 Sidemen Member (2/7) ✅ After a short break from transfer business to stay in line with FFP guidelines, everyone please welcome our newest signing, @miniminter❗ #GirthNTurf
Stay down there you cunts 👍🏻
That’s because shampoo comes in a bottle.
The only manager from England’s biggest clubs that can talk about shampoo.
HAHAHAHA SHUT THEM LEGS 4 EYES!
I spent a week as a Deliveroo rider. And learnt a lot. First up, Deliveroo likes to claim you should earn at least the minimum wage of £11.44 while working. Me? I worked for 22hrs 50mins, rode 105 miles, did 27 drop offs and earned £120.38. That works out at £5.28 an hour🧵
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Goldbridge streams in the away end… this is a bloody war crime 🤢🤮
I’ve seen people setting themselves on fire, beheadings, stabbings and people getting penetrated by animals but this is by far the worst I’ve seen on this app. What the fuck like🤣🤣🤣 throw away the key ffs
Very strange behaviour live on BBC world snooker championships 🤮
4 years ago today absolutely crazy they got away with it
Are you ok babe? You’ve hardly touched your Gonster….
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