@shortenedmatthew @mattmoreman3
I am not second but I am top two... insta - @shortenedmatthew Longwell green, England Joined April 2018-
Tweets212
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Followers227
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Following2K
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Likes49
Add up my tiktok... funny videos 😁 @mattmoreman3
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Waiting in the queue at @AldiUK and you hear “dear customers, we’re about to open till 3 for you” bitches think they beating me to till 3 but I’ve already threw my brioche burger rolls onto that treadmill quicker than Employee of the month Alan can sit on his chair to serve me
Anyone win the euro millions? I’ll clean your car every day for the rest of my life if you give me a cheeky million?
I don’t believe in god because hay fever exists
Appreciate what you have in life at the moment, have aspirations in life for what you want to achieve but always be grateful for what you have to this day
Nobody: My brain: I wonder if all of the popular boys and girls from school think of me exactly the same way and judge me for the same things, when In reality i look completely different, act different and I’m actually doing well for myself... Cunts
@shortenedmatthew retweeted
@BenjaminCutting “I’ll shake his hand”
Good morning Twitter.. 2-1
Montenegro is the same size as Bristol and are currently beating England 1-0... goodnight twitter
Feel like we need a traffic light system for customers to enter Primark
Breaking news: the whole world is falling to part due to instragrams fuck up
I didn’t think 2018 could get any worse and then @instagram did this shitty update
All I got for Christmas from my uncle was a bag of rice... thanks uncle Ben
As a kid the last thing you want to open on Christmas Day is underwear and socks, as an adult there’s nothing I want more
What’s even funnier is the fact that he’s probably lost his virginity already😂😂
What’s even funnier is the fact that he’s probably lost his virginity already😂😂
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