"Orf to the 'orsepital today, Del." I always tell the missus I'm going to the hospital in my Grandad voice because it gets on her nerves.
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I also do Albert Steptoe whenever she buggers off to London for a works thing. "Don't leave me, 'Arold. I'll be lonely on me own." She doesn't like that either.
@moanaparte My husband always says 'look at the old blackbird' when he sees one, because he knows that annoys me.