3 @monkeyjoesofc
stupid idiot man Joined July 2021-
Tweets315
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Followers44
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Following293
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Likes6K
the lion does not concern himself with graduate application personal statements.
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David Griffiths. If you can hear me David Griffiths, please save me.
i need a sage woman in her 50s to give me decisive, but unreasonable, advising because bridge over troubled water is no longer cutting it
continuing to eat some jelly beans that are very beautiful but i don’t like the taste what does that say about me
i didn’t cry when my parents told me they were divorcing but i do sob every time they start singing the marseillaise in casablanca
i hate how emotions have genders now. wtf is “male loneliness”? get a job.
lowkey experiencing gender as a stylized repetition of facts…
haven’t seen anyone correctly attributing her loss to the snl curse yet
one time i got my dad in trouble by accidentally intuiting exactly how sean connery sounds and doing a very accurate impersonation at age 7, despite not having seen the last crusade
it’s time to lock in on my retainer. it’s time to get to work.
the weather today is wonderful. unfortunately, physics exists and is ruining enjoying that for me.
i’d be miserable if i wasn’t stuck up and joyless. if i had joy, i’d be deeply unhappy.
the bumping of a shin, the stubbing of a toe. these are the worst imaginable pains a person can experience.
gang can’t know i listen to the darth plageuis audiobook to fall asleep
i would not love the eraserhead baby i could not be its mother
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