onmyshield @onmyshield

Just a guy, named after a cowboy movie, doing things 8th circle of hell Joined August 2020

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onmyshield @onmyshield

11 months ago

The amount of outrage does not match the votes cast … y’all lying to yourselves and each other.

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onmyshield @onmyshield

12 months ago

I scored well enough over 540 on the ACFT that I am exempt from tape. AITA for wanting to bring donuts to the height and weight screening, and if so, what type?

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

I heard a joke about Oedipus and Midas. It was motherfucking gold..

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

She’s a ten, but does Sumo…

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

Some people are like slinkies. They have no real function, but you smile as you watch them tumble down the stairs…

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

She’s a ten, but doesn’t know to put the bread in the top of the buggy…

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

PSA - if you carve a pumpkin in September, it is now called premature ejackolantern. #Halloween2024 #PSA

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

What sort of net or trap do you need in order to catch a break …. Asking for a friend.

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

She’s a ten, but you’ve seen the way she loads a dishwasher…

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

Going to the gym, building muscles, doesn’t get you women. But, it does get you a heaping load of body dysmorphia

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

I clearly can’t be trusted to make adult decisions on my own. I own two huskies. I bought a black area rug for the living room. I think my vacuum is ready to die.

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

She’s a ten, but put your cast iron in the dishwasher…

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

Studies show that suppressing emotions leads to memory loss. This explains why I can’t remember what I had for breakfast

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

If earth is the third world from the sun, doesn’t that make all countries on earth third world countries?

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

She’s a 10, but doesn’t understand how Japanese treatment in the Treaty of Versailles directly led to the attack on Pearl Harbor…

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onmyshield @onmyshield

a year ago

Real self loathing is going to the self check out line on a payday weekend.

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Hot Take - we need to develop a “peers” systems for CSMs, with input from their formation. Let the Formation deem if he/she is worthy to move to a bigger sphere of influence. #army #miltwitter #USAWTF