Michael Phillips @phillmic
Joined May 2011-
Tweets192
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Followers53
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Following91
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Likes10
Tip of the hat to the Houston airport DJ that chose a hip, high-volume gospel rock mix for the 4:30am shift. No arguing with that dudes!
If Sbarro and Quiznos don't emerge from bankruptcy, my standing weekend schedule will be thrown into complete chaos.
Brookstone exec meeting: "Ok, we've made most things in our store vibrate." "MAKE MORE THINGS VIBRATE!" "Yes sir, right away."
I drive a two-door Honda because I take life #seriously
I think we can all agree that most parties begin with Arby's brisket sandwiches.
I spend my Friday afternoons just like everyone else - sitting on my porch and drinking Monster energy drinks with some Facebook friends.
Do these landlords think I'm nuts? Look, I may live life on the edge, but I ALWAYS insure my waterbeds.
During important business meetings, remember to style your pony tail through your baseball cap. It's pretty much a slam dunk.
Dunkin Donuts introducing a bacon & egg donut sandwich. I'm runnin on Dunkin because it's takin me straight to Diabetes-town!
Guys I'm hosting a cocktail party this weekend and can't find my Bubba Sparxx mixtape anywhere.
I have great days when the world is starting to make sense to me and then someone walks by wearing some of those five-toed shoes :(
How are guys still selling convertible Miatas? What do you say? "Hey, you look like a guy with a taste for wind and mocking stares."
I just want to eat your food and now I'm confused.
Hey, you say tomato, I say potato. We're not even talking about the same thing.
LA Fitness is kind of like hell but with slightly more tank tops than I would have imagined.
Kid leashes should be sold as a combo deal with future adolescent counseling sessions.
Hi, I'd like to buy the his and hers "pleats explosion" I saw in the display case. Do you take traveler's checks?
I have an important business meeting next week - does anyone have an above-ground pool I can borrow?
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Report: Facebook is set to reveal a standalone Oculus VR headset later this year tcrn.ch/2sTUzpu
friend: I'm almost ready. I'll come pick you up in 10 minutes.. me: ok cool, I'm almost ready too. See you in a few. also me: ...
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:( "Man dressed as elf charged with DWI" nj.com/morris/index.s…
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