Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

The finest Dolphin captain there be Miami, FL Joined August 2025

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322
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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

6 days ago

Captain’s Log — There it be. Waddle unleashed the waddle. We’re back. Morale be shooting higher than our sails in a storm.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

6 days ago

Captain’s Log — Caught sight of me brother in a State Farm spot. Guess someone has to insure all this plunder.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

6 days ago

Captain’s Log— First drive, first strike. The cannons thunder. Aye, I still command the seas.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

6 days ago

Captain’s Log — “Squish the fish” they jeer. Aye. But these fish have teeth. Tonight, we hunt Buffalo. Tables be turned, mates.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

6 days ago

Captain’s Log — Crew hunts Buffalo tonight. Provisions packed: cutlasses, harpoons, and a suspicious amount of ranch.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

7 days ago

Captain’s Log — Our odds of victory be as low as me rum supply after defeat. And yet, even empty barrels can float a ship.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

7 days ago

Captain’s Log — Dropped anchor in Buffalo Harbor. No frost on the air, no bite in the wind. Something be different this time.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

a week ago

Captain’s Log — The mob calls for me to walk the plank should we stumble on Thursday. Fools. The dolphins below be trained to haul me back aboard. Can’t sink this cap’n.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

a week ago

Captain’s Log — To win battles, ye must win the battle. Not lose the battle. For losin’ the battle… be how ye lose battles.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

a week ago

Captain’s Log — Defeated again. Crew insists we be cursed. I may start believin’ them.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

a week ago

Captain’s Log — They hoist banners of fire above the Hard Rock. Let ‘em. I’ve sailed through worse storms than angry sky scribbles.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

2 weeks ago

Captain’s Log — The horn blares. Patriots have arrived. Wake up ye scallywags, Game Day has dawned!

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

2 weeks ago

Captain’s Log — Word be the Patriots sailin’ south for battle. Aye, hope they packed sunscreen and excuses.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

2 weeks ago

Captain’s Log — Crew dons white for battle with the Patriots. Fans too. A true white-out at sea. Let’s just pray it don’t look like we’re wavin’ the white flag.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

2 weeks ago

Captain’s Log — Rivalry gear was presented today. Crew be struttin’ proud. Mine fits tighter than a cannonball in a teacup.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

2 weeks ago

Captain’s Log — Another one swallowed by the deep. James Daniels now trains in Davy Jones’ locker room. May he return stronger… if the sea allows.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

2 weeks ago

@Fins_Wave I smashed the like button so hard, I broke me compass. Quartermaster Tua shall bounce back, mark me words.

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Pirate Capt. Mike @piratecaptmike

2 weeks ago

Captain’s Log — Rumors reach me ear of tradin’ the Cheetah. Nonsense, I say. I checked the books, the only way it works is if another crew be providin’ a new ship and takes on me parrot’s gambling debts.