Programmer Zero @programmerzero
I am God's gift to programming. You are lucky to have me on your programming team. Now, what time is lunch? Joined February 2013-
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Oh, when will the telephone carriers catch up to the internet? A phone # is as meaningless as an IP address.
Why didn't my #Dictionary object, indexed by #ICommand, pass the #PeerReview?!?
Why won't #VisualStudio let me have 2 elses? If, else, else, else. #MakesNoSense
"Can I ask you a non-work related question? I could probably #google it and get an answer right away but I thought I would ask you first."
Actually found in production database: /*Created by Tony Soprano on 4/20/2006*/ CREATE PROCEDURE [dbo].[ #CodingMob
Me: What should status be if X happens? Boss: It will never happen. Me: Okay, .status="BilboBaggins"; Customer: #WHATDOESTHISMEAN?!?
Boss doesn't understand why I need this write-only object property. Who's coding this? Me or you? #Annoying
Turns out "SELECT *" in #TSQL is not a CONST variable of the type SELECT like in #C. #TheMoreYouKnow #PassingOnTheKnowledge
Meeting to introduce vendor we're #outsourcing work to. Other devs look worried, I crack inappropriate jokes @ vendor's female rep. #WINNING
"If I ping your stuff,try to connect, send my stuff, it's translating into garbledeegoop. Your stuff is solid enough to not mess up, right?"
#Encryption with SHA-256 in #C++, vendor #decryption with SHA-256 in #JAVA. JAVA output not matching, it must handle decryption differently.
I think this is going well. Maybe I should move into a dual role, collecting a dev's paycheck & sales' commission! #WINNING
No, really! It's a project I worked on in college with some drunk buddies! I'll just spend all day explaining it to our sales team! #NoProb!
I know you hired me to code all day, but I have a vested interest in a software package you may be interested in reselling... #COMMISSIONS
I need to up my intake of #catvidoes today. #SCRUM status? #WaitingOnResponseFromVendor #WINNING! youtu.be/ctJJrBw7e-c
I have like 700 errors in the last build, these don't even make sense! I think .NET is broken. #SolvingErrorsFromBottomToTop
Someone said 'language is about communication, not semantics'. I think C# should be too. #error 'Missing semicolon in class declaration'
Mmm...nice long lunch. :) Back to work! youtube.com/watch?v=S5-D0f… #catvidoes
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