RandomNess @really_random
Joined January 2013-
Tweets26
-
Followers4
-
Following15
-
Likes11
Why don’t weather apps show the weather from the day before? I don’t know why but it feels like it would be helpful.
Teenager - n: lazy irresponsible clueless person aged 13-19 that is a self proclaimed trustworthy responsible know-it-all.#teenagers #sotrue
If my calculations are correct, then someone else did them for me.
What I hate most about Twitter: finishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left, and then having to decide which grammar crime to commit.
A cop just stopped me & asked "do you know why I followed you" so I said "cause my tweets are funny" & we laughed & high-fived. I'm in jail.
Not knowing what to text back but not wanting to end the conversation.
Imagine if you called the wrong number and the person who answered was a celeberty. "Hello" "Mom?" "No. This is Morgan Freeman"
When person waves at u, u start to wave back & realize it wasn't u they were waving at & try to play it off as doing something else #akward
Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, if you do find one...what's your plan?
My girlfriend wanted to talk to me about my immaturity, but she couldn't. She doesn't know the password to my secret fort.
Lets take a moment and thank God that spiders can't fly.
Don't think you're immune. We're all just a whim away from singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight." Yes, a whim away...a whim away...a whim away.
That awkward moment when the GPS tells a gay guy to go straight.
Leggings should have a weight limit.
Are oranges named orange because they’re orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange.
The awkward moment when you reach to grab something you want and when you look you actually grabbed something totally different! #awkward
Money doesn't buy happiness? Well it buys a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski? It's impossible to be sad on a jet ski.
Homão Da Porra @HomaoRibas
76K Followers 76K Following mais um iludido na #Flatt personagem fictício
Paco Taco Leavon @pacotacobeast
124 Followers 410 Following Don't mess with me... U leave me alone and i don't make ur life a living hell...
The Treehouse Show @treehouseonair
15K Followers 120 Following Leave your worries outside and laugh inside The Treehouse - the talk show with funny news, viral stories, and lots of laughs.
Insane Tweets @insanetweets
14K Followers 30 Following I love making people laugh, i love having fun, i love weird animals, & i love life (:
Michael Strahan @michaelstrahan
1.1M Followers 976 Following
John Mayer @JohnMayer
1.2M Followers 540 Following LIFE with John Mayer on @SiriusXM - Channel 4 @lifewithjm
KellyMarkLive @kellymarklive
724K Followers 468 Following The official “Live with Kelly and Mark” Twitter page! #KellyandMark
Dax Holt @daxholt
85K Followers 290 Following Co-Founder @TrophySmack | Co-Host of @HollywoodRaw & @ThePodsauce | @MyFantasyChamps ~ [email protected]
TMZ Live @TMZLive
309K Followers 5K Following TMZ Live is a one-hour daily entertainment news program that brings viewers inside the @TMZ newsroom.
Nostalgia @ComedyPosts
1.8M Followers 112 FollowingYou might like
