riley madison @riley_swift
★★★★★▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄ Joined July 2012-
Tweets23K
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Followers776
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Following358
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riley madison retweeted
“AM I DREAMING??” 😂😂😂😂😂 “I was making my morning coffee and the next thing you know I’m fighting a deer in the backyard!”
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riley madison retweeted
i’m wearing a tshirt that says NASA and one of my customers goes: “cool shirt! did you work there?” yes. i left the National Aeronautics and Space Administration to make you a fucking cup of coffee
today i was shocked when i found out levi’s accidentally sent me double of my order but never could i be upset
riley madison retweeted
*has three beers* alright, time to hurt my own feelings
riley madison retweeted
like that sometimes it be
riley madison retweeted
Went to bed in a vest top, woke up and my right tit was downstairs putting the kettle on
i can never stalk somebody in peace i always end up accidentally liking their mom’s comment from 2015. a bitch is really out here exposing herself at 9am.
i’m at work, it’s raining, and an old man comes in. i hand him his drink and clearly jokingly say “enjoy the sunshine!!” this geezer looks me deadass in the face and goes “your an idiot aren’t you?” what
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