probably disappointing @rynbrasells
i apparently think i’m funny Nashville, TN Joined April 2010-
Tweets3K
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Followers132
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Following57
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Likes2K
mhm (-:
Every once in a while I remember the fact that some lady completely lost it on me because her chai wasn’t hot enough… and that memory just makes me feel so sane.
no but seriously (-:
very true bestie
very much me tonight (-: oopsies
Caesar wasn’t playing around with that salad.
i just don’t think my cat understands how lucky she is to get unlimited kisses from me
my toxic trait is saying “but you deserve it!!” several times a week to things i most definitely do not deserve
i hate when i’m done with the day but the day isn’t done with me
toddlers & bad coffee should not exist in the same day
i have stepped on a toy car twice today.. nobody deserves this kind of disrespect
i was not the hottest person in walmart the other day which was absolute pain BUT i was the hottest person in o’Reillys this morning so we call that a win
yeah, so grey hairs on my head at my age are kinda whack & i have coped with it but grey ARM HAIRS are a little unfair
the amount of times i have dropped my phone into a pets water dish is too many times
okay look i don’t mind if you talk to yourself (in fact i wish more people openly did) BUT can you at least talk to yourself a teensy-weensy bit louder? i have small ear canals and can’t eavesdrop easily thank uuuu
flying to pdx means i get two mornings which means i should get multiple coffees
things i’ve been called after telling someone my name: ryan, wren, carmen, tammy... and now... PAM
psa for cat owners: don’t try on your swimsuits in front of your cat... they will think the strings mean play time & dig their claws so deep in your inner thigh you scream 🙂
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This country has been in a rapid downward spiral and decline ever since that song “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” came out in 2005
The police officers in Nashville saved countless lives with bravery that most of us would never have. I know it’s not cool to celebrate police officers on this website but those guys should get every medal, award, and parade. Now let’s ban assault rifles so we don’t need heroes.
@rynbrasells “bUt tHeY mAkE iT LiKe tHiS aT sTaRbUcKs” Then go to Starbucks ma’am
If I was invited to the met gala I would simply google the theme before picking what to wear
Everytime I go to the yogurt aisle I expect something to really wow me and i leave disappointed every time
Trying not to cuss this year has me saying holy crud someone just freaking backed into my car
15° right now. Get ready for transplants to tell you “it’s not that cold”. ^wm
God gives his fattest naps to his strongest soldiers
I’m really outdoorsy in the sense that I’m locked out of my apartment
I’ve been waiting for this since Gravy 1 came out in 2009
Have the best Saturday of all time. Steer clear of anyone and anything that gives you bad vibes. Do what makes you happy and just shake your tits all day long in the haters and losers faces. They could never.
how funny would it be if dinosaurs showed up one day and said they were just hiding this whole time. What a prank that would be
@JodyAmable if we didnt spend all our money on AVOCADO TOAST and SEX TOYS maybe we could afford HOUSES so we could SEPARATE OUR LAUNDRY
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