savourymonkey @savourymonkey
Brighton Joined July 2008-
Tweets252
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Followers20
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Following104
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Likes1
New career given self-imposed northern retirement 😂. Commissions welcome, prices from £10,000 for A4 size AND I provide my own ink and paper. DM me for more details. Available to galleries and stately homes on loan, special rates available for studen… ift.tt/2VZ9BKf
It’ll be a cold day in whatever Hell I’m headed to before I take etiquette tips from a woman wearing a hat like this 😶. And yes, I know I wore a top hat and a tin foil Crown. Even so... ift.tt/2rUwQq1
Yeah I’m sick of this too. If one more person takes the piss out of my sculpted abs and pecs, I’m going to be so mad I’ll write an article for a derivative gay publication along with copious selfies of my manicured body. That’ll learn ‘em 🙄. #gymspir… ift.tt/2JhR04m
If I don’t get my own engagement chicken, the wedding is soooo off 🙄. #tasteslikechicken #harry4baxter #harryandbaxterupatree #handsoffbitch #hrhbaxter #princeofhearts ift.tt/2HiHJwm
I know I’m not meant to post four year old memes and take credit, but honestly, I’ll never see this and not snort, partly because I’m so dumb, the first time someone ever sent it to me, I didn’t get it for a full minute 😔. #dountoothers #hesnotthemes… ift.tt/2qVXMGr
Not sure I've ever related more to a meme. I think this may actually have happened to me. Unsure because drunk, but it's entirely possible 😔. #getyourcoat #howdoyoulikeyoureggs #areyouanekelectrician #isyourdadathief #areyouaparkingticket ift.tt/2qvxLwe
Even being robbed by gay guys is an oddly rewarding experience. Bet those flowers look fabulous. Didn't realise the new Queer Eye would inspire a crime wave. #eeesheeedeous #nowwejustneedsomemacraneandascentedcandle #fabulousdahlink ift.tt/2HlnFZA
Spoiler: she's wearing sneakers, the crazy bitch. Oh wait...aha 😶. #peopledothefunniestthings #nowtsoqueerasfolk ift.tt/2GSVBxf
Given half a chance, Pat. Not you though, just the other heteros 😐. #nohomo #iveneverbeenwithaguybefore #nokissingbruhimnotgay #doesntcountifimwatchingstraightporn #yourbeardtickles ift.tt/2v8hItU
How very sad, completely unforeseeable, and wholly undeserved 🙄. #whydobadthinhshappentogoodpeople #ifhesdoneitonceyouknowhelldoittwice #betterthedevilyouknow #guessiwasjustapitstop ift.tt/2uGF8X6
And old Ralph Lauren Polo shirt doesn't scream cutting edge interior design, but I suppose the other one could give me a hand with some DIY 😑. #changingrooms #tometoyoutometoyou #studwall #hammerandtongs #drilling ift.tt/2Gwqgfi
I'm not sure if this ring is intended to symbolise something else, or if it's being shown as a useful rimming accessory, as it does present one scenario for easy access, albeit with a slight risk of drowning for the rimmer and seasickness for the rimmee … ift.tt/2Gq8mz4
If this doesn't end with a presidential run in 2020, I'll eat my Madelaine Petsch-designed sun visor. ift.tt/2Ighe6Z
Well I made it eighteen seconds into the first play through, so close... #suicidetoons #musictobeburiedto #thankyouforthemusic #amillionlovesongsaremadeup #butyoudontreallycareformusicdoyou #asecretchord ift.tt/2GjkLVj
I mean we do get a bit rowdy when Ariana Grande comes on, but national destruction seems unlikely 😶. #rampantgay #plaguefromgod #theendisnigh #runsaveyourselves ift.tt/2pPHOvR
I mean surely this is just common sense? I never eat a Mars Bar without it resulting in an unwanted pregnancy, so I can only imagine the foetus party generated by consuming a whole box of cookies 🙄. #abstinenceFTW #marriedtogod #ifyouwantitthenyousho… ift.tt/2IacJuq
A perfectly legitimate excuse, that can also apply to most Londoners, and I'm sure honestly to me as well 🙄. #voulezvouscouchezavecmoicesoir #sussemabite #sorrysirweddonthaveanythinginyoursize #ohthatishouldhavetoleaveallthis #letthemeatcake ift.tt/2pMGDOR
I can only imagine my proficiency at calculus had my mathematics tutor had a similar backstory 😂. #isthataprotractorinyourpocketor #squarerouteofsixtynine #getyourrulersout #letstrysomelongdivision #findx ift.tt/2GAPKLR
This, evidently, is not my post, but I've googled and these are actually real, and if I don't get one for Easter, there is no justice in this world. Spoiler alert: I will be getting one because I'll be buying it for myself. This may well, indeed certainl… ift.tt/2IRJuO6
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