melissa @shortstackmel
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. Joined March 2011-
Tweets3K
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Followers232
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Following246
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Likes428
A bartender asked me tonight if I came from a 90s party because of my outfit… I’m wearing a beanie and now confused
Someone please remind me in a few months not to sign up for another marathon again…
Was summoned for jury duty….again. Third time in less than six years…
I thought deciding to run a marathon again was crazy but deciding to train for a marathon in extreme humidity and 90 degree heat may be even crazier
Really glad I got relocated back to Maryland just in time for peak 17 year cicada season
You don’t notice how many bumps and potholes are on the road until youre driving with 8 Starbucks drinks #dontspillplease
So he can retire now, right?? Point was was proven last night, right??
Can’t wait for the The Big Short movie sequel: GameStop edition
Had a dream that I wore the wrong skirt to school and got detention. Almost ten years later and I am still having nightmares about my high school uniform
The Football Team is the best football team #WashingtonFootball
I was fortunate to be able to come home to my parents for the holiday this week. Little did I know I would be walking into a home renovation and I now find myself on day 2 of being alone in the basement painting the walls
Don't count us out 😤
I have seen Halloween candy out in several stores now. I feel that we may be getting ahead of ourselves with that one this year 😕
When eating vegan ice cream the calories don’t count because I’m not vegan. Those are the rules I live by.
Does someone currently have eyes on Ghislaine?!! Just making sure we don’t loose her
Here’s a message for those of you protesting stay-at-home orders, courtesy of Michigan governor Gretchen Whitmer.
Attending Easter mass on the couch in sweats while drinking coffee is a new catholic tradition I can get behind
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