Pablo @stanislavaz6w0
I love cool and brilliant thoughts. Java and sunny days make me giggle. I adore birds Dallas Joined March 2017-
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Following46
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Although it sounds like it could be a good one, Pissflaps is a terrible name for a bar & grill
Drank 3 shots of espresso and can now feel every part of my skin at once AMA
shoot for the moon, even if u miss u'll forever be the one peopel point at and whispre "thats the idiot who shot literal bulets at the moon"
Expecting a person of a certain race to constantly be commenting on their race is also a kind of racism.
[sits son down after he didn't win science fair] son, tomorrow some will call me "hero" others will call me "guy who fought a teacher"
Instead of getting Xbox Live I just drive to the skate park & pay obnoxious teenagers $60 to call me gay.
Just told a couple disbelieving millennials about how we used to have to poop without cell phones.
My favorite new song is either that one from the Samsung commercial, or the one from the Budweiser commercial.
i show up at the range wearing a t-shirt that says "I Wont Wear The Earplugs" and i m promptly directed back to my car by staff members
[hears wife approaching while I read son bedtime story] the prince hugged the dragon..[hears wife walk away] ok, basically a retweet is whe
The Internet manages to show how far Homo Sapeins have come while simultaneously showing how far they haven't.
People who say age is just a number fundamentally don't get numbers and that's why I always borrow money from them.
The most Canadian thing I ever heard was a secondhand story about a guy getting his toe bit off by a beaver but not telling his date.
sometimes i wonder was it worth it to get laid at the expense of covering my firewood pile when it was about to rain? no... it never is
Autocorrect just changed my kissy face emoji to "stop it you're 37" then powered down my phone.
At the end of obituaries in the newspaper they should give the person a score out of 100.
I would rather text someone for a hundred hours than have to spend one second talking to them on the phone.
I say "post-9/11" for literally anything that happened in the last 14 years. Madagascar 2 is so post-9/11. Dr Pepper Ten is a post-9/11 soda
Wait, so if I accept Jesus as my Lord and Savior I get to spend all of eternity with people like Mike Huckabee? Lol. Hard pass.
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