stephen @stephenasmith12
constantly head over heels because that's how the human body works. Raleigh Joined April 2009-
Tweets6K
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Followers383
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Following311
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Likes10K
If Willy Wonka was real there’d be a 14 part docu-series called “Debaclate Factory” and people would lose their minds over it
Hey restaurants, stop having white cloth napkins for me to embarrass myself with.
stephen retweeted
Hey I’m a finalist in The New Yorker caption contest. Would you go to newyorker.com/cartoons/conte… and vote for me?
Sometimes when helping clean up my toddler’s toys, I’ll make sure to put them in comfortable positions just in case they Toy Story themselves up at night.
Is there a trophy for the worst team with the most individual talent? #skol
At this point I don’t even want a beard anymore. I just 1) don’t remember what my face looks like clean and 2) don’t know how long sideburns are supposed to be.
Good news is I now have pretty good proof my meds are working? Gonna go make some nachos or something. #skol
Won’t even engage the sad packers fans 🤡 on Twitter trying to stay relevant, but will say a new head coach taking this team to 13-4 (way past expectations) and NFCN champs was fun. On to next season #skol
Sooooo everyone was right about the Vikings it seems? Do I mentally give up now and save myself some heartbreak later on? @CrockettBC
Well, this is gross. Guess I have have half of my night back 😂. 8-2 ain’t so bad #skol
Wild season that exceeded expectations many times. To even be there at the end is awesome. Super happy for coach Davis! #GDTBATH
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11K Followers 265 Following We're your grocery store companions! Read: https://t.co/7KnVdCk1xC Watch: https://t.co/24Tno8WF0l Subscribe https://t.co/7eaq4eZ6BN
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