TTPD has highlighted for me an uncomfortable truth about myself as someone who has been a swiftie for a larger portion of my life than I haven’t. It’s gonna take a lot of words to get across, so… a 🧵 (1/)
I need to start by saying this…I LOVE Taylor. She means the world to me. Without knowing it, she has carried me through my lowest lows and helped celebrate my highest highs. I look up to her, I trust her, I believe in her, I defend her. Reader, that is exactly the problem. (2/)
When I listened to TTPD for the first time last night, I felt something I’d never felt before in regard to Taylor’s art. I felt discomfort. I heard her being full-send angry and outright nasty to people and, by my read, occasionally punching down. (Stick with me here - 3/)
That wasn’t the Taylor I knew! Sure, she could be snarky, even scathing sometimes, but never unfairly or excessively. No, Taylor is kind! She keeps her side of the street clean, our unproblematic queen! And that deconstruction of my extolment of her kinda devastated me. (4/)
Today, on my second listen, it started to crystallize for me that my reaction, this discomfort, this disillusionment was exactly her intention. She’s begging us to stop worshipping her because that’s not fair to her, point blank period. (5/)
She’s saying “I’m not perfect and also you don’t fucking know me! I am a multidimensional human being who makes profoundly poor choices sometimes and that is okay!” And goddamn if that’s not a fucking slay and a wake up call for me! Why have I felt the right for so long… (6/)
…to anchor any part of my own happiness on her? Imagine how it must feel when everyone in the world is telling you how much you mean to them and how you’ve saved their lives and that you’re their singular source of happiness! That’s a crippling burden to put on someone! (7/)
She must be constantly and unendingly terrified of screwing up in any tiny way at all. Why have I put expectations on her that I don’t meet myself? I’m mean and nasty all the time. I punch down when I’m pissed off. I’m arrogant and self-centered sometimes. Why can’t she be? (8/)
We’ve all been running around screaming about how she’s on top of the world “where she belongs” and she’s responded by saying, “please don’t do that to me! That’s not where anyone belongs!!!” (9/)
@swiftietrash “Why have I put expectations on her that I don’t even meet myself?” 🤯 this is very well articulated, thank you for sharing your thoughts!!!💭