Marisa 🦖 @swiftlikeaspoon
meh. Las Vegas, NV Joined February 2015-
Tweets3K
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Followers386
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Following344
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Likes4K
My brain has too many tabs open and none of them are useful…
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When your friend goes on family vacation and forgets to invite you 😔 @samiiirayeee
I don’t know what his secret is, but all the neighbors are constantly bringing my boyfriend food because they love him 😂 it’s goals
Two espresso martinis deep in China thinking about how sad it is that all the dogs here don’t understand me cause they don’t speak English 🥺
Was going to go to edc but I booked a trip to Tokyo instead, whoops
Y’all ever serve someone a steak and they try and tell you it’s really a fish 🤦🏻♀️
All I do lately is stress, work, and get sick. It’s lit.
Marisa 🦖 retweeted
never signed up for a 401k cuz there’s no way in hell i can run that far
How does one go about un-updating an iPhone cause this “upgrade” is trash
When you accidentally fart in front of your boyfriend and he offers to let one rip so you don’t feel embarrassed… that’s love
Be nice to your servers so they don’t Hawk Tuah in your food
I’ve been waking up at 6am every day and I am not a fan. Is this what getting old is going to be like? Woof
Having a day off is all fun and games until you get called in 🥲✌🏼
Vegas just needs a giant tarp put over it for the summer
Marisa 🦖 retweeted
I just dropped my baby 🐺off at her aunties for edc weekend and she was sooo happy to see her boyfriend🐻❄️ and old home 🏡. I know she’s gonna have just as much fun as her mama. Shout to @swiftlikeaspoon for having her over.
I’ve been at my new job a month and just got a raise. I said it last month, but I’ll say it again, this is my mf’n year guys !
At the bowling alley and everyone’s throwing their X up, but me 🥹 @Excision #cantgetastrikeandidontlike
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