E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

Since Twitter is getting real, I figured I would also! Subscribe to my newsletter here and get a free novella: https://t.co/rWjL6w8eHW themockingbard.com Colorado Springs, CO Joined April 2022

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

a day ago

I'm currently camping in the mountains. The nearest camper is picking up after his dog. I'm not. Which one of us is right?

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@chrislhayes If Bassem Yousef returns to Egypt, he gets a $9M fine and immediate imprisonment. If Jimmy Kimmel returns to the USA... Wait, what's that you say? He's still in the USA? And he hasn't been arrested or fined? Wtf

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

a week ago

No true martyr ever wanted his name proclaimed in church, and if you are demanding that your church celebrate his martyrdom, you are disrespecting Charlie Kirk as much as those who celebrate his death.

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 weeks ago

Three hours ago I rode my bike past the local Fire Station. I just drove past it again and they have lowered their flag to half mast. God bless our fire fighters.

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 weeks ago

I would NEVER sit with my back to a black man on the subway. Because how tragic would it be if I were sitting in front of @thatsKAIZEN or @the_jefferymead and I never realized it? If I'm ever sharing public transportation with @ZeekArkham @ZubyMusic @SirBylHolte I hope I can…

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 weeks ago

I believe that a well-armed society is a polite society. I also believe that if everyone spoke the n-word, it would quickly lose its power to harm others and just become another word. But I guess we should only work on one goal at a time

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

3 weeks ago

The writers at The Daily Wire draw straws each week to determine which one has to adopt a lazy, insane position to drum up social media engagement. Matt Walsh actually tries to pick the short straw. Now it all makes sense, doesn't it?

Michael Knowles @michaeljknowles

3 weeks ago

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

3 weeks ago

The more I think about it, a Biden/Allen collaboration would have explained SO MUCH

E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

3 weeks ago

The more I think about it, a Biden/Allen collaboration would have explained SO MUCH

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

a month ago

I finally realized what I hate the most about this rebrand: it isn't the new logo, it isn't even the new decor. IT'S THE TILED FLOORS.

Gunther Eagleman™ @GuntherEagleman

a month ago

I finally realized what I hate the most about this rebrand: it isn't the new logo, it isn't even the new decor. IT'S THE TILED FLOORS.

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

a month ago

This is the point at which you must face the choice to educate yourself or forever remain too ignorant for public interaction. If you don't understand even the basics of a concept, what makes you think you can accuse a person of a "rotted brain"?

zora @Zora8me

a month ago

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

a month ago

I don't know who needs to learn this, but you don't demonstrate free speech by mocking the people who believe in free speech. That's like buying your dad a gift on Father's Day with his own money. You are barely an actor in your own plot. Obviously, JD Vance loves free speech.

Marco Foster @MarcoFoster_

a month ago

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

Another day, another block from an ignorant, illiterate bimbo

E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

Another day, another block from an ignorant, illiterate bimbo

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

One can always dream. @SouthPark

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

Nah, I'm gonna say that Jesus was angry they were selling doves (or more specifically, profiting on God's forgiveness). The gospels don't mention currency manipulation at all. But don't take my word for it. Read Matthew 21 for yourself, my economist friends!

JuliansRum @ItsJuliansRum

2 months ago

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

I'll repost but I swear I saw these images in Flight Of Dragons

𝐀𝐮𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐤 (𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐇𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐧) @Aurumek_

2 months ago

I'll repost but I swear I saw these images in Flight Of Dragons

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

Does anyone know how to reset the algorithm? It's been like 5 days of nothing but Sydney Sweeney on my feed and frankly, I'm bored.

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

Hot take: I disagree with this sentiment. Practicing hospitality on a personal level is a noble calling. I only object to the government opening the borders to a mass influx and feeding them with our taxes. If you want to personally help a refugee, I say go for it.

Isabella Maria DeLuca @IsabellaMDeLuca

2 months ago

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

I lived for like 40 years before I understood what "non sequitur" meant And then I see this guy and I wonder if the evidence was always before my eyes

Hairy Evolutionary @RossCol89474735

2 months ago

I lived for like 40 years before I understood what "non sequitur" meant And then I see this guy and I wonder if the evidence was always before my eyes

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

This isn't an airport, you don't have to announce that you're a little bitch. Seriously though, since when are conservatives such crybabies? I've gotten passive-aggressive block replies from a bunch lately

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E.L. Haines @the_mockingbard

2 months ago

Most conservatives: if someone breaks into my home, there's no calling 911, my Glock and Castle Doctrine will take care of business. This one conservative: if you see an asshole illegally parked across 3 handicapped spots, don't get involved, call a parking attendant