GOMAR @therealgomar

Eat healthy,Drink moderately,exercise regulary-DIE ANYWAYS!!! ZEMOG Joined June 2013

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GOMAR @therealgomar

5 days ago

Wind warning,crazy when I went outside I wouldn’t have ever known it was windy,Thx.again to the weather network!

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GOMAR @therealgomar

6 days ago

What’s yellow and lives off a dead beetle?..,Yoko Ono. Last nite on the biography channel!

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A not so attractive girl asked me for my phone number.I said “sure,do you have a pen?” She excitedly said,” I sure do.” I said,you probably should get back in it before the farmer notices you’re missing!”

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GOMAR @therealgomar

2 weeks ago

Got my test results back.Dr.says,”good news,bad news” I said “ give me the good news first” We’ll he says,” we’re gonna name a disease after you!”

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GOMAR @therealgomar

3 weeks ago

Is cheese grater the worst book a blind person could read!

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GOMAR @therealgomar

3 weeks ago

My therapist said to me,to be more satisfied with your life& feel inner peace always finish what you start so I did 2 lines of blow,smoked a joint,drank 6 beer&had 4 Jack Daniels on the rocks,I’m feeling satisfaction& inner peace right now,He’s fucking good!!

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GOMAR @therealgomar

a month ago

Guy says,”wife is getting boring in bed.” Friend says,”try 69 with a starter pistol,gets them excited Next day,Friend says did it work?” Fuck no,I fired it,she bit my cock,shit on my face& my neighbour came out of the closet with his hands in the air l

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GOMAR @therealgomar

a month ago

Guy comes home,goes in garage,Harley is gone,Porsche is gone,He’s furious.Wife says we spend to much so I’m downsizing.He says “ me too,let me fuck you up the ass,cun on your face& I’ll fire the Nanny!

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GOMAR @therealgomar

a month ago

My Paki neighbour that smells like a skunk eating a dead salmon said the town hooked up his water so now he can bathe.I said,” Nice story AS-IF!”

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GOMAR @therealgomar

a month ago

Rumours say the next James Bond may be a black actor.At the first audition Arnold Schwarzenegger also wants the role badly…His closing line at the casting was,”I’ll be Black!”

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GOMAR @therealgomar

a month ago

My little black neighbour boy was crying,”He said we can’t find Nemo” I said”that’s just a story about a little fish that goes missing.” He said,”No that’s my Dad’s name.”

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GOMAR @therealgomar

2 months ago

New Mamma Mia movie with all Indian cast& new lyrics…”you can sing,you can dance having the time of your “life ,watch that girl ,watch the scene she’s the Welfare Queen!”

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GOMAR @therealgomar

2 months ago

Lady wants husband buried in blue suit,Director says,”black one he’s in is fine.” She gives him a cheque,”get a blue suit” She comes back sees the blue suit,”How much” Nothing,another lady came & didn’t care about her husband being buried in a blacksuit so I switched the heads”

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GOMAR @therealgomar

2 months ago

This morning the wife said now that I’m retired I should do whatever makes me happy…I’m gonna miss her!

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GOMAR @therealgomar

2 months ago

I just realized today,even though I fucking hate the immigrants coming into our country,they can put a smile on your face after you run over one on the street!

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GOMAR @therealgomar

3 months ago

Crime Stoppers alert! There are 3 kinds of keys out there that can open 88% of houses&almost 100% of cars…Pak-keys,Dark-keys&Junk-keys!

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GOMAR @therealgomar

3 months ago

Hot in my tent camping!

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GOMAR @therealgomar

3 months ago

Just got a heat warning sensor installed on my furnace…when the furnace cuts in you get a your house may get warm alarm…order now on the weather network,limited supplies!