Tiny Tales of Terror @tinytalesterror

I blinked. Cured? Why would I want that? The disease was part of me now, an essential part of my identity, my life. Who could tell where it ended and I began? No, I thought, this was the new normal. (Also, have you seen my health insurance deductible? Ouch.)

Trapped indoors, self-quarantining for safety, none of us saw the things slithering down from the stars to steal our most precious things: milk, bread, and toilet paper.

Zeke went all out for Halloween but it was always worth it to see the looks of surprise and fright on the children's faces. Still, it was hell on his fingers trying to cram an entire Mach3 cartridge into those apples.

"I'm not like other guys," said Michael. Ola took another look at his thick coat of pancake makeup, his hyperbaric chamber, his trained chimpanzee, and the bones of the Elephant Man. "No shit, sherlock."

I had drunk deep of the putrid soul of man and tasted the bitter black truth: everyone else is an asshole.

With one mighty heave Greta shoved the witch into the oven and slammed the heavy door behind her. "Now let's see," she said as she leafed through the cookbook. "Three hours. That gives me plenty of time to make the buttercream frosting."

Hans glanced with disgust at the scattered innards of the dead prostitute. He swore that, even if he had to kill a hundred more, one day he would find the one with a heart of gold.

When Randolph Carter was thirty he lost the key of the gate of dreams - this is both literal and a metaphor, which is pushing it, I know, but please, stay with me.

Even a man who is pure at heart And says his prayers at night May become a wolf when the wolfsbane blooms And his fursuit's not so tight

Another one of the teeming mongrel horde, everything about him detestable and alien. Each of his foreign habits digusted me - his sinister accent, watching his so-called hockey, and eating *shudder* back bacon and ketchup-flavored crisps.

"A Nazi?" Johnny Vampire turned towards Colonel von Frankenstein. "I may be an unholy fiend who feasts on the blood and souls of the living," he hissed, "but I'm an unholy *American* fiend who feasts on the blood and souls of the living."

"No one ever noticed me before, but now that I am invisible, they will *ALL* notice me!" roared Dr. Hawley.

The natives cavorted around the unspeakable idol, flitting between the sickly light of the bonfire and the inky darkness beyond. I studied them intently - these dance moves would be a huge hit with the kids back in the States, if I could ever get myself untied from this stake.

As the last of my lifeblood oozed out on to the tile floor I remained haunted by the killer's final words: "Always remember to like and subscribe."

Dolores covered her son's eyes as Ted sloppily devoured the last pieces of bacon on the platter. "Don't look son," she wept. "He's more meat than man now."

"After the accident at Wipeout Beach, there wasn't much left of your friends." Dr. Zipp paused to take off his sunglasses. "To save what was left, we had to make a sort of surf Frankenstein - a 'Surfenstein,' if you will." Annette fainted.

What the mirror revealed was shocking, a ghoulish, decaying shade, its rotting and putrescent outline a leering, abhorrent travesty of the human form. "Lookin' fly!" I thought, gave myself double finger guns, and skipped off to my date.

Daniel realized that the tortured curves and unnatural angles could be used to bend and fold space, to travel beyond the world of man to realms unknown... and then only ever used this ability to dine and dash.

After a few centuries of blasphemous unlife you start to develop some unusual tastes. Take me, for example. These days I mostly amuse myself by turning Jehovah's Witnesses and watching their poor little brains melt.

"The rare tropical plants in my greenhouse provided the toxins I've used to kill you all," gloated Zenobia. I didn't have the heart to tell her she could have gotten the same results by putting crushed peanuts in the ventilation system.